So, a year. It�s been a wild and crazy one, let me tell you, full of ups and downs, victories and losses, and all the things that make life�well, life. But in the end, regardless of the ups and downs, regardless of the victories and the triumphs, time marches forward. Both comforting and unnerving, that.
It was a year ago today that Memoirs of an Evil Genius opened its doors to the general public, and in that time, it has seen me through two jobs, several failed attempts at dating, a handful of drunken ramblings, and even the odd dismembered body part. It gave me space to vent my spleen on politics, stupid people (repeatedly), and American Idol; it enabled me to exorcise my demons and come to grips with insecurity, with fear, and with hangups; it gave me a place to be serious, and to be a bit silly, but mostly, it just gave me a place.
Some brief stats for the last year are:
1. Number of entries: 225 (not including this one)
2. Number of entries that mention Ryan Phillippe: 6
3. Number of entries that mention my brother: 12
4. Number of entries that mention Dolly: 37 (seems low)
5. Number of notes I�ve received: 1
6. Most popular googles involved urination, Hilary Duff and Aaron Carter making out, and nude American Idol contestants.
7. Most popular entry: Seeing Stars
And now, because I�m not sure what else to say, I�ve compiled a random sampling of the last year. Cheers!
"Actually, if we were truly to revert back to high school, we'd be sniping at our contemporaries over an assy cup of Denny's coffee, griping about our serious lack of funding, and exulting over our most recent inside jokes. Hmmm. Now that I think of it, we did that on Friday." -- The More Things Change, the More They Stay the Same
"And to the lady that called four times this morning, this is not Direct TV! It never has been Direct TV and it never will be Direct TV! When I answer the phone saying, "Good morning, Titanic Cruises, how may I direct your call?" please do not proceed to talk over me, bitching me out because I never showed up to check your satellite reception." -- A Few of My Least Favorite Things
"And what makes it even more bizarre is the fact that she tries to act like it's not her, as if I wouldn't recognize her voice. So she calls and, in this deep, raspy voice, she'll grunt, "Is Joanie there?" And I totally know it's her, but she's obviously trying to keep the situation from being awkward (self-defeating, if you ask me), so I have to pretend I don't." -- In Which Our Hero Has Some Close Encounters
"It took me three weeks to find a pizza place that delivered to my neighborhood, for the love of all things decent, and she's giving me this stupid-ass research project like I'm fucking Columbo or her paralegal or something. Kiss my ass, Matlock, you do it! I'm not going to see a red cent for doing all this extra work, so you can just go get bent." -- Voodoo Dolly
"But then came this -- "I had a hard time keeping interesting in your journal". Well, you had a hard time keeping interesting in your review, too, but I�ll let it slide this once." -- Yet More Gene and Roger
"�it had a little button on it that might just as well have said �PRESS ME�. And, hey, I don�t need to be hit over the head, you know? So I reached out and pressed the button, thinking, "Well, what have I got to lose?"�Incidentally, the answer to that question is �all power to the office�." -- In Which the Office is Powerless Against Our Hero
"I�m pleased to say that one guy I assisted actually won two races with his turtle. Admittedly, his turtle moved about as quickly as the plot of Vanilla Sky (which is to say: barely), but seeing as the two opposing turtles were more or less dead, he still won." -- Gentlemen, Start Your Amphibians
"If I don�t get sugar in the next fifteen minutes, I�m going to come right down there and shit in your handbag, Corinne. I�m not kidding." -- Enter the E-Maelstrom
"I know I should be all drunk, like, "Hey! Why not me!?" But I�m not cute like that little girl, and I won�t keep making that noise till you either cave or commit Hara Kiri." -- The Fuck?
"Next thing you know, they�re going to send me a box shaped like a big dildo with the words "FOR THE BIG, GAY SEX FREAK NAMED DR. NO, WHO LIKES TO SLEEP WITH MEN AND MIGHT LIKE TO BUY DIRTY SEX MAGAZINES THROUGH THE MAIL TO ENHANCE HIS SEX LIFE (WITH MEN, DON�T FORGET) AND IS A GREAT BIG PERV, AND PROBABLY NEEDS AN INTERVENTION" and next to that will be my school picture from the 10th grade. And of course it will be delivered to my landlord by mistake." -- You�ve Got Male
"I won�t say that I�ve broken myself of the habit of becoming stupidly fixated on guys who are Wrong For Me, because it�s too soon to make a sweeping statement like that, but I�ve at least convinced my subconscious that I can live without this guy, and that�s good enough for right now." -- A Few Minor Accomplishments
Anyway, here�s to another year (?), perhaps containing a few more gems a few less pratfalls!
Someone Got Here By Searching For: marc+paul+NYPD And: crippling pains in your stomach I�m Watching: 24, and wondering why the promos don�t match the episodes I�m Reading: A bunch of my own entries, about which I�d mostly forgotten.