Paris Hilton has another sex tape coming out. Another. Sex tape. As in, her second (as far as we know). Is it just me, or does this girl not know how to do anything in moderation? To be fair, I think it�s quite an amazing coincidence that all these sex tapes are suddenly springing out into the open concurrent with the advertising campaign for her new reality show, which is about to start airing. Just an observation.
Anyway, I gather there is as yet no hard evidence (pardon the pun) of this latest sex tape, save for some rumors or something. I mean, it hasn�t been "released" yet, but people are talking about it. Given the way Hollywood works, that doesn�t mean shit, but then again�wasn�t it Heidi Fleiss who said something like, "If you�ve heard a rumor about two people, then they probably did it, and in an even more perverted way than you imagined." Something like that. Now that sounds like Hollywood.
But I�m not here to talk about threesomes in the Bellagio with an heiress, a playmate, and a former MTV host (sounds like a joke: "An heiress, a playmate, and an MTV host walk into a bar�and have a threesome!"), I�m here to talk about old ladies getting down and dirty in the kitchen!
And not like that. I promise.
No, I�m going to fulfill my forecast from yesterday that I would discuss the amazing, nation-wide pie contest I watched on the Food Network Saturday night! Okay, don�t close the window -- just hear me out. It was seriously entertaining! Like, it was all these middle-aged women from around the country, and they meant business. This pie thing is hardcore, y�all.
These women all seemed so sweet, too. Baking is such a motherly thing, you know?
And these pleasant-looking ladies would be standing in the middle of their kitchens and rolling out dough, or mixing fillings together, and talking to the camera about how the recipe for their pie (which has a name like a My Little Pony) was passed down through the generations of their family, and you�d get this warm feeling! Then you�d notice the flinty look in their cold, cold eyes, and the way they�d chuckle mirthlessly when "joking" about how they were going to walk home with the blue ribbon, and suddenly you�re feeling really uneasy about Thelma being allowed to hold that butcher knife.
They pulled out all the stops, too. One lady brought fresh pumpkin she�d grown in her own garden and everything! The best part, though, is that in the end, the top prize went to some crazy local woman who used Cool Whip in her pie. And if that isn�t delicious irony, I don�t know what is. All these women from Nebraska and Oklahoma (and other such storied pie-friendly states in the midwest) were all standing around and clapping for her, even though they were dying inside, while this woman just prattled on cluelessly into the camera about how she�d never even entered a baking contest before, and isn�t this just amazing??
Thelma went home and cried herself to sleep.
Someone Got Here By Searching For: "Bob and Johan" �De -Moor And: "the universe is trying to tell me something" I�m Watching: Alias Season 2 episodes, even though I�m fully expecting to get the DVDs when they come out. I�m Not: Working, like I should be. Damn, now I feel guilty.