Yesterday was a good day. So good, in fact, that it may have spoiled me for the rest of the week. Good thing the week is only these two days (you know -- Thursday and Friday).
Yesterday, Sophie called in sick for apparently only the second time in as many years. Also, our office e-mail server crashed first thing in the morning, rendering me with pretty much nothing to do, and no one to answer to until about noon when the server righted itself again. Of course, by that time, there wasn�t a snowball�s chance in hell that anything productive would be getting done by anyone in this office, and we all just kind of frittered the time away until we got to go home.
Today, we have been less fortunate. E-mail is up and running (Sophie, too) and the pile on my desk seems to rise and fall in increments as I pick my way through it at a rate that is evidently equal to that at which it is replenished. I feel like a finicky child picking at a plate of Brussels sprouts, and every time I eat one, another gets dropped on my plate. I don�t like Brussels sprouts, you guys. I like�ice cream. Couldn�t I get ice cream? Like, I know that you�re not supposed to get dessert until you�ve eaten all your vegetables, or whatever, but how can I do that if my Brussels sprouts keeps multiplying?? It�s unfair, I tells ya.
Oh, and then, on top of the Brussels sprouts, Sophie goes and plops this huge-ass heaping pile of stewed cabbage all over my plate, smothering the sprouts (and everything else), in the form of this stupid and ridiculously complicated project that I�ve already done once before! I�m serious. A few weeks ago, I put together a series of files for a client, at their request, and now their asking me to do it again. Same files, same information. I don�t understand; did they not save the original documents? Did they not receive the original documents? Is there additional information that they want, which they have not yet specified? Should I just re-send the originals, or is there some other vector which they would now like me to incorporate into the originals and then re-send them? I have asked for clarification, and as yet received none.
Wow, that last paragraph was boring. Why do I do so much boring stuff at work? I don�t mind the little things so much ("Could you e-mail so-and-so and ask for an updated list for this thing I�m doing? Thanks!"), but the big things ("Could you go into the archives, pull all reports from the even days in March of 2002, photocopy them, compile a spreadsheet for them, e-mail the spreadsheet to me, FedEx the hardcopies to the client, and then wait to hear how we screw it all up, so you have to do it again in a month? Thanks!") are starting to get me down.
Damn it all, now I really want ice cream.
Someone Got Here By Searching For: catherine zeta jones with green eye make up And: Paris Hilton sex tapes threesome I�m Watching: American Justice, a program no one should ever watch before going to bed, ever, unless they want to dream about people trying to kill them. I�m Reading: Chapter 11!
A Year Ago, I Said:"What if my synopsis is bad? What if misspell 'synopsis' and they toss it away in disgust without even reading it? What if my computer melts down, rendering me unable to write the synopsis, and the window of opportunity slams shut on my dreams forever and I'm stuck in a hollow, empty, meaningless existence, and I end up living all alone in a tiny apartment with 52 parakeets, and everybody calls me 'The Bird Man', and then I drop dead one afternoon, but no one notices and I just lie there on the floor for weeks until the landlord finally shows up to evict me for non-payment of rent?" These are pressing concerns, people!
In Which Anxiety Gets the Better of Our Hero
� 2005 by Dr. No, all rights reserved; you break it, you buy it.