It�s been something of a busy week, you guys, full of tsunami danger, earthquakes, �not guilty�s, public drunkenness, bodily injury, and Paris Hilton. The public drunkenness, of course, being the highlight of that list. I guess I should take it all back to the beginning, which began last weekend, which was Gay Pride.
Now, I�ve got me some gay pride. I�m all, �Hooray for The Gay!� What I�m not hooray for is crowds. I don�t do crowds. Crowds make me antsy and murderous, because suddenly there are a whole bunch of stupid people in between me and everywhere, and I practically have to file a flight plan with entire community if I want to move fourteen feet up the sidewalk. Ergo, I have never actually attended yon Gay Pride Parade, nor any of the affiliated festivities. I sort of felt like I should this year, though, because solidarity is important.
So off I go, with Clyde, to the stupid parade. First of all, can I just ask why there isn�t a single event calling for a congregation of gay men where one isn�t evaluated and judged on one�s appearance by everyone around them? I mean, isn�t the point of gay pride that we�re supposed to be sick of being evaluated and judged? A certain amount of being checked out is just kind of de rigeur, and I understand that, but sometimes I just want to stand by the roadside in peace and watch Paris Hilton lead a charge of fugly drag queens down Santa Monica Boulevard, you know?
Anyway, Paris came and went (she was the Grand Marshal of the parade) and so did a host of the most unfortunate looking cross-dressers I�ve ever had the pleasure to be blown kisses by. And then I was forced to wonder what the point was, because it�s like, am I supposed to be excited that I just saw Paris Hilton? Because she�s such a recluse, you know? No one EVER sees Paris Hilton out in public! What an event! So THAT was totally worth it.
On Tuesday, there was a 7.0 earthquake somewhere off the coast of California that resulted in a tsunami warning. This was only one of many earthquakes we had over the past couple weeks, of course, and it left Megadeth, a girl with whom I work, in a frantic tizzy of apocalyptic proportions. She was seriously convinced the end was nigh, y�all. A condition only made worse on Thursday when another earthquake hit in the middle of the workday, and she went completely apeshit. I mean, I kind of understand, because she�s from the east coast where they don�t have earthquakes. But then again, this was my first earthquake too, and I wasn�t screaming my fool head off.
Thursday was also the day of the wrap party for the show I�ve been working on. Specifically, the party for the wrap of filming, and they held it at the lounge the show is about. And it was open bar, people. Open bar. And premium open bar, too! None of this Bob�s Vodka, or �I Can�t Believe it�s Not Filtered!� bullshit, either. So I went a little overboard. I mean, I�ve learned my lessons about excess the same way anybody does (through trial and error�mostly error), and I�ve reached a very comfortable equilibrium where I usually imbibe with responsibility and caution. Admittedly due in part to budgetary concerns, but whatever. Unfortunately, when open bar is called, I turn into a booze camel, trying to take advantage by drinking as much as I possibly can, like I can store it my hump or something until a future time when I�m broke and everyone else is getting happy.
Anyway, I didn�t drive, so it was more or less okay to go wild. What wasn�t okay was me, later that night, when my drunk ass took a header while running across the street and totally Tonya Harding-ed out all over the sidewalk. I had this huge abrasion on my right palm, which Clyde subsequently treated with that goshawful �liquid bandage� stuff, so the open wound was basically shellacked over and now looks like this creepy rotting mummy sore on my hand. I didn�t have much time to think about it, though, because Clyde experienced a sudden and unexpected dental emergency and I had to drive him to the airport at 3:00 in the morning so he could fly to Arizona and have it addressed.
The next day, I was rather tired.
In any event, those were the highlights of the week. Hopefully this week will be equally exciting, if somewhat less physically and emotionally taxing. Don�t forget to call your fathers, though, y�all; it�s Father�s Day!
Someone Got Here By Searching For: family sex [Ack!] I�m Watching: Stripsearch, on VH1. I get really discouraged, though, when pretty guys turn out to be so unappealing in other areas. Sigh. And: I saw Batman Begins, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, and High Tension, all within the last week. I would say yes, a qualified yes, and an unqualified no, respectively. High Tension was the best horror movie I�ve ever seen for the first hour and fifteen minutes, and then it absolutely ruined itself with its ending, which was so frustrating that it really negated any enjoyment you get from the rest of the story. Sigh.