So I haven�t updated in a while, and for that I apologize. However, I promise you that my excuse for being away so long is more than ample: we have officially moved. After spending about a week of doing nothing but packing, painting, packing, unpacking, and packing, May Day and I found ourselves sitting in our decimated apartment last Monday night, ready for the movers to come the next day. And come they did, and move they did, and now all of our shit is ensconced in a smaller and cheaper (yet strangely more inviting) abode in a much more convenient location.
The problem with our old apartment�I mean aside from the crazy-ass underhanded landlord who sold the building out from under us without breathing a single word of our inevitable eviction�is that...okay, well, the landlord was crazy-ass and underhanded and threw a fit at the prospect of us devaluing his property by putting up paint or pictures. Or turning off the water too hard. That one was my favorite. �Don�t turn off the water too hard,� he said to us the day we moved in. I suppose I really should have taken that as a sign, but was just so glad to have an apartment where the bedroom and the living room were separated by more than just my imagination.
One of the more difficult aspects of the move, of course, was trying to figure out what the hell we were going to do with all of our shit, since we�d been living for almost three years in a spacious two-bedroom apartment, and had accumulated so much crap that we were still stacking it three feet deep in some places. It made one a little lightheaded to face the prospect of dropping several hundred square feet of living and storage space. We seem to have figured it out though! The most fun part, I think, was throwing out my old piece of shit futon.
Way, way back in the day, when my mother was moving, she asked me if I wanted her fold-out love seat. I did, of course, because at the time I was a starving college student, living in a �studio� apartment that was basically a grave with sporadically running water. Her love seat was nice, too! All overstuffed and upholstered in this pretty fabric, and sort of expensive-looking. Of course, my older sister Tempest decided she liked it too, and that it was more important for her to have it than me, so she took it. She didn�t exactly ask, or anything, she just vetoed my mother�s offer and took it. To make it up to me, she bought me this futon that was like something you might get out of one of those claw machines at an arcade.
I�m being a little unforgiving. The futon actually served me pretty well for about three years. Unfortunately, I had it for about six. The body of the futon was made out of some indeterminate sort of metal, all bars and hinges and springs and stuff. The mattress became mashed down so badly over the years that it was practically like sleeping on a sheet of cellophane, so every time I�d get into bed, the metal bars would roll across my spine like a shiatsu massage by the Marquis de Sade, or something. Plus, little nuts, bolts, and springs kept falling off of it at random in a very alarming way. Few things are less comforting than collapsing into bed after a long, hard day and hearing a really loud ping, as a piece of your bed breaks off underneath and rolls into a corner of the room.
Anyway, my parents bought me a new bed for my birthday, which, hooray! Three cheers for mom and dad! This meant that I was finally able to junk that thing, an act of stress relief which will have saved me thousands of dollars in future therapy bills, I�m sure. The mattress I literally threw off the balcony of our apartment (and then ran downstairs and tossed it into the dumpster), but the body of the thing was a trickier matter. May Day and I somehow managed to get the thing out of my old bedroom, down the hall and the stairs and outside (the tools I�d had to put it together and take it apart have been lost somewhere between L.A. and Chicago), where we left it at the side of the road in front of somebody else�s building and then ran away laughing like a couple of teenagers who�d just stolen a six-pack. It was pretty awesome.
Also awesome? Actually sleeping through the night. I love my new bed.
Someone Got Here By Searching For: sex my girlfriend I�m Watching: 24. Well, I�m in the middle of watching 24. I�ve been trying for a few days now, but I�ve been so damn tired and all. I�m Reading: Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris. Hee!