Dr. Goodhead: Are you enjoying your new car?Me: Very much so. I drive to the grocery store now! I can buy ice cream again!
Dr. Goodhead: Oh, the things we take for granted.
Me: Tell me about it. Of course, you couldn�t pry me from behind the wheel with a crowbar. I mean, I practically drive to the mailbox now.
Dr. Goodhead: Isn�t your mailbox, like, inside your building?
Me: Well, yeah, but it�s way up at the front, and our apartment is in the back, so I can drive around to the front of the building and go up the steps and voila!
Dr. Goodhead: I�m going to assume that, in this instance, �voila� means �lazy�.
Me: No, in this instance �voila� means �I have a new convertible and you couldn�t tear gas me out of it�.
Dr. Goodhead: Have you been driving it with the top down?
Me: Um�?
Dr. Goodhead: What?
Me: �Are you kidding?
Dr. Goodhead: What, why?
Me: The top is down. Unless it rains daggers from the sky, the top will be down. Even if it�s 14 degrees out, I�m going to have the top down, and the freezing, Arctic wind will be blowing through my hair.
Dr. Goodhead: That�s a really bold claim to make, coming from someone living in Los Angeles.
Me: Listen, it could happen! Didn�t you see The Day After Tomorrow?
Dr. Goodhead: Did anyone see The Day After Tomorrow?
Me: Okay, good point.
Dr. Goodhead: But it�s nice to have a convertible, despite the imminent possibility of radical weather shifts and the dawn of a new ice age?
Me: Oh, yeah, for sure. Although there are a certain number of other hazards.
Dr. Goodhead: Such as�
Me: Sunburn.
Dr. Goodhead: Oh, yeah.
Me: And also the fact that I can no longer rock out to my guilty pleasure music, because I can�t pretend that no one hears what I�m playing on my car stereo anymore.
Dr. Goodhead: So much for Britney.
Me: Please. Britney�s the least embarrassing of my guilty pleasure music. And I can�t sing, or do my little in-the-car dance when my favorite songs come on.
Dr. Goodhead: I have a feeling you do those anyway.
Me: Okay, I do, but now everyone stares at me! And I don�t know if my music is cool or not. What if they�re like, "Who is this dude, and why�s he rocking out to Kenny G?"
Dr. Goodhead: I don�t necessarily consider myself a pop culture maven or anything, but I feel pretty secure in the knowledge that Kenny G is extremely not cool.
Me: Well, I would never actually listen to Kenny G, but I needed an example.
Dr. Goodhead: Sure. Well, you know, the cool quotient in general is automatically upped by virtue of the fact that you�re driving a convertible. So, stuff that would ordinarily be lame is just�kind of lame.
Me: Kenny G is always lame. He�s the kind of lame that destroys everything it touches. He�s the kind of lame that would ruin convertibles for everyone else if someone driving one started listening to him.
Dr. Goodhead: I never realized that driving a convertible came with such heavy civic responsibility.
Me: When it comes to Kenny G, it�s a burden I willingly shoulder.
Dr. Goodhead: You know, you don�t need to stop doing your little dances all together; what you really need is some cool choreography!
Me: And back-up dancers!
Dr. Goodhead: Totally back-up dancers. And then you could fall in "love" with one, and you guys could have a whirlwind romance and get married even though he�s already got one kid and another on the way with his ex-girlfrie�
Me: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Just because I�ll listen to Britney doesn�t mean I want to be her crazy ass!
Dr. Goodhead: She puts on a good show, though.
Me: True. Although I don�t know that I want a lot of pyrotechnics going on in my car, either.
Dr. Goodhead: A valid point.
Me: But I think we�re onto something with this. I could sell t-shirts emblazoned with "The Dr. No Experience" or something, and turn my embarrassing habit into a full-fledged career!
Dr. Goodhead: Like Corey Feldman.
Me: I�ll be a local celebrity, like that lady with all the billboards.
Dr. Goodhead: Hopefully not just like her, because she�s scary. Would you take requests?
Me: You mean like "Free Bird" and "Jailhouse Rock"?
Dr. Goodhead: I mean like "Shut up" and "Keep your eyes on the road".
Me: Oh, those. I don�t do them now, why would I start?
Dr. Goodhead: Point taken.
Me: Oh, shoot, here�s my turn -- I should probably go.
Dr. Goodhead: Wait, you�re in the car now?
Me: Well, yeah. I have to get the mail.
Dr. Goodhead: Right. Have a good show!
Me: Always, my friend. Always.
Someone Got Here By Searching For: don�t you hate pants? I�m Watching: The 4400, which is good in parts�and lame in parts. I�m Reading: The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, because it�s about time.