For the past couple of nights, I�ve been trying to watch movies. Unfortunately, as soon as my brain tumbles to the fact that there are no commercial breaks during which it may rest up, it begins to shut down. Nothing�s worse than drifting out in the middle of a scene, only to wake up again ten minutes down the line, having no clue what the shit�s going on anymore. Well, okay, some things are a lot worse�like broccoli�but for my money, falling asleep in the middle of a movie is pretty high up there on the list.
I used to work with this woman named Rosemary, once upon a time, and she told me this really funny story that sort of relates. She said she was really sick one night, and kept dozing off in the middle of a Law & Order rerun. She said the cast kept changing and the storyline was really convoluted and made no sense, and it also seemed like the episode kept going and going, and in her feeble state of mind, she was beginning to get really upset about it. Then she realized that she�d actually been dozing off during an L&O marathon, and hadn�t seen more than about ten minutes of any single episode all night long.
Something similar happened to me, once. Well, okay, no it didn�t, but I needed to segue. Anyway, a friend of mine in high school was an actor, and he was in some production of A Chorus Line. To show my support, I told him of course I�d watch the tape. I must have tried to watch that thing about six times and never made it past the opening number before passing out cold on the floor of my parents� basement. And I was determined to watch that thing and be supportive, but A Chorus Line is just�not exactly my cup of tea, you know? So I made him sit down and fast forward to all of his parts, and we were good. And it wasn�t a bad performance or anything, either, it was just�well, it was just A Chorus Line.
Film noir, on the other hand, is totally my cup of tea, and yet I sadly experienced much the same thing with The Thin Man. I finally had to give up renting that movie because the first four times I tried to watch it ended in some of the best dreams I�ve ever had. I�m happy to say I shook that monkey off my back, have seen the film, and now own it on DVD, though, so good ending there.
On Monday I watched Brian de Palma�s Dressed to Kill, starring Angie Dickinson and Michael Caine. There�s this really long sequence in the beginning where Angie Dickinson wanders around a museum (I�m not giving away any of the plot, here), and I just couldn�t stay focused. The worst part was that when I would drift off, I�d be dreaming the movie, so shit would happen in my head that wasn�t really taking place, and then I�d open my eyes again and things would be totally different, and I�d be thoroughly confused about what the hell was happening.
Last night I started watching The Third Man, starring Joseph Cotton and Orson Welles. Now, I�d been all rowdy and rambunctious all the livelong day, but the second that movie started I was in a trance faster than a planted audience member at a Vegas lounge act. And I love movies like that! The black-and-whiter the better, y�all, and yet I had to keep getting up every ten to fifteen minutes and take care of some odd chore or another, just to guarantee myself a little longer lease on consciousness. And this isn�t a boring movie, you guys. Not like A Chorus Line.
Anyway, I only got through about forty minutes of the movie last night, and since I think it�s due tomorrow (I�m not positive, but I don�t take chances with late fees, yo), I really feel the need to finish it tonight. I don�t do that thing where I watch part of it, then return it, then rent it again later and finish it. That�s like one for the price of two, and I don�t do that. But can I keep my eyes open long enough to get my money�s worth?
I seriously don�t know what the hell is wrong with me and my whacked out sleeping problem, but here�s hoping I can kick the habit.
Someone Got Here By Searching For: little girl fucked [Wrong and alone.] I�m Watching: Lost. If J. J. Abrams has any room in his harem for a skinny white kid, he should call me. And: The Third Man. I intend to stay awake by any means necessary, up to and including brushing my teeth, doing jumping jacks, and poking myself in the face with a chopstick.