The very first thing I did over my Thanksgiving vacation, even before I left the airport for my parents� house, was to destroy my overnight bag. When it came rolling by on the baggage carousel, looking all cranky and old, I gripped it firmly by the little handle attached to the exterior pouch on its end, and heaved at it. And the pouch fucking tore clean off and dangled there from my hand as I watched my bag merrily embark on a second tour of Luggage Claim 8.
The second thing I did was to make a cheesecake in my parents� brand new kitchen. I love that every time I�ve spoken to my mom over the last few months, I�ve been like, �So then I took a nap, and then I ate, and then I was really tired, but I watched TV, and it was really exciting! Anything new with you guys?� and she�s been like, �No.� And then I get home and the kitchen and basement have been completely remodeled. I can tell an entire story about spilling my lunch, and this woman doesn�t find it newsworthy that we have a new house. Clearly, we are not related.
Another thing I did was to reacquaint myself with the Midwestern clime. I�d been prepared for the cold, in theory, but�not really in practice. I went for a run on Thanksgiving morning, and after about six blocks, my face went numb and fell off. I also found out that I�ve forgotten the trick to jogging over ice, and very nearly ate shit a couple times. Fortunately, I warmed up after the first mile, and got used to the terrain again before too long. However, it was probably Saturday before I finally stopped feeling vaguely insulted by the snow.
The Thanksgiving gauntlet itself wasn�t half as bad as I�d expected. Admittedly there was a lot of driving back and forth, but in the end it all worked out. I got to meet my niece, to see my sister�s new house, to see my brother-in-law for the first time since his injury, and to see my mother again for the first time in a year. All are doing fairly well, although there was quite an unusually large banquet of Issues being served up this year, which I�m too tired to go into now.
Meanwhile, on the other side of town, we had one of my five-year-old cousins staying with us, and he, being deathly afraid of dogs (for no good reason) demanded that we exile my parents� beloved Golden Lab to the neighbors� house for the duration of the weekend. Not that I don�t love my cousin, but I was about ready make him go stay at the neighbors�. I haven�t seen my dog in eleven months, yo, and that kid doesn�t even live there!
My mother didn�t end up making me go shopping with her the day after Thanksgiving after all, which was really great. She did, however, make me explain to her what �teabagging� is, after overhearing it in a conversation at Starbucks, and the less said about that the better. Seriously. She just kept pestering me about it, and asking why I kept giggling every time she said it, but she just got louder and louder in the middle of this big crowd of people and I finally made her promise that if I told her what it meant, she�d never bring it up again, ever. After I told her, she sort of rolled her eyes and said, �Oh, well, I just knew it was something about TESTICLES.� And then everybody turned and stared at us and I wished I was dead and/or invisible.
It was all pretty much downhill from there. I did get all of my holiday shopping done, which was a little bit of a bear, but at least it�s done. Pussy Galore and I went carousing into the wee hours a few times, and that was great, and she also showed me the tape of her three year-old daughter�s last ballet recital. The music started, eight little girls began dancing, and PG�s kid turned on her heel and walked off the stage. Just to make sure I got my money�s worth, I watched it several times in a row and did a successively better job at stifling my laughter. It�s not like the kid was scared or upset or anything. She just changed her mind about dancing and decided to go do something else. My kinda girl. It was a matter of unfortunate timing that she made that choice right at the top of the show, but what can you do? She�s three.
I also spent some time at my little brother�s college apartment, and although I sometimes miss the aggressive pursuit of higher education, I really don�t miss the lifestyle. I hadn�t ever been aware before that visit, though, that mold can actually grow on water under the right conditions. Learn something new every day.
In all, even if it wasn�t the most eventful trip I�ve ever taken, it was still really nice to see everyone again, and to catch up with them. I got a new overnight bag out of it, too, so even the clouds had their silver lining! When I go back for Christmas, maybe I can ruin my computer.
Someone Got Here By Searching For: dating a germophobe I�m Watching: The Apprentice. How did Sandy manage to not get fired simply by being unwilling to shut up and listen for a second? That�s a damn good trick. I�m Reading: Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier. I bought the book after I saw the movie, like, ten years ago, and I finally decided it was time to read the freaking thing. So far it�s really good, if a trifle dramatic.