They say the third time�s the charm, right? Well, don�t listen to them, they LIE!

Sunday marked the third time I ran into a certain someone who clearly needs to feel my loving and tender touch, although he�s apparently completely unaware of the fact, and if this was the �charm� I�d hate to see its opposite. Following a somewhat late lunch, my friend Domino and I decided to take a leisurely stroll down Melrose. (Well, as leisurely as Melrose gets, I suppose.) On a whim, we popped into a store, and there he was.

Now, I�m sure I�ve documented my past run-ins with Ian Somerhalder in this space before. I know I mentioned the first one, wherein I came out of the stall in the bathroom at the Viper Room and very nearly knocked him into the sink, and I�m fairly certain I mentioned the second time. Oh, hey, what do you know? I did! Anyway, for those of you too lazy to click on the link (and I know you're out there) the second time was in Malibu, when he and two friends walked right past without so much as a glance. Frankly, I�m still a little hurt by that, but I forgave him because I feel like it�s important that he has his space.

Anyway, as we walked into the store and discovered him not five feet away, I announced to Domino that this was clearly kismet:

Me: It�s kismet!

Domino: Well, clearly.

Whatever. What I want to know is what�s with all this �pretending to not recognize me�? That�s what�s really starting to get on my nerves. I mean, okay, so even if he�s so committed to his heterosexuality that he can�t recognize we are clearly meant to be together, the least he could do is recognize me, right? I mean, seriously! I recognize him! I mean, okay, so my job was a little easier, but I was giving him a whole bunch of subtle hints to remind him, too:

Me: Remember that time at the VIPER ROOM? That was great! And when I was IN THE BATHROOM? Wasn�t that hilarious? HA HA HA!

Domino: I wasn�t...in the bathroom, and why are you shouting?

Actually, it does present kind of an interesting question: how many times do we run into the same people every day? Not like you run into the same person three or four times in one afternoon, but, like, in this city of some nine million people, I now know of at least one that I�ve run into three different times, and quite by accident. (No stalking, I swear!) So, how many others have I run into but haven�t recognized? You know, due to the amnesia, or my having been my evil twin that day.

Whatever the answer may be, you all have my official permission to, the next time somebody tells you, �Third time�s the charm!� to kick them in the nads real hard about three times, and then say, �You�re right. That last time felt the best for me.�

Someone Got Here By Searching For: don�t look at me like that it was an honest mistake I�m Watching: The French Connection. Brutality aside, how does Gene Hackman expect to be taken seriously as a cop while wearing that stupid little hat? And: Desperate Housewives. Either the plot�s thickening, or the writers are running out of ideas. I withhold judgment.

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