Okay. Seriously. So, some of you may have read in May Day�s journal about how we�re suddenly getting kicked out of our apartment building. For those of you who have not...well, we�re kind of getting kicked out of our apartment building. I mean, not just us, mind you�it�s not like we�re just really bad tenants, like we�re up here burning shit and defecating on the rug or whatever�but the building is being sold, and the apartments are being converted to condos, and we�re all supposed to get gone from here by the end of next month. Or are we?
You see, today, the plot got thicker and weirder, much like the hot chocolate at Starbucks. (And, seriously, what�s with that? It�s so heavy and saturated with sugar that when I taste it, I can�t tell if I�m excited or grossed out.) Yesterday, I was minding my own business when the building manager stopped by to inform me that he�d just learned that the sale of the building was supposed to close this week, and that we�d all be out on our asses by the end of February. And this he got from the building�s new owner, since our landlord (who is scary) has not said word one about any of this to any of us. Our manager was understandably upset, and wanted to let everyone know what was what so we could figure out our options.
Cut to: this afternoon, when I�m on my out the door for my run. Who should happen to be standing by the door, but Scary Landlord. Scary Landlord asks me immediately if I�ve spoken to the building manager yet, and so of course I looked him straight in the nose and said, �Why, no�whatever would he want to speak to me about?� Scary Landlord made vague references to �misinformation�, and told me that the building manager was now the ex-building manager, and if I had any questions regarding the sale of the building, they should be directed to Scary himself. Like that�s going to happen. I don�t know why he�s so intimidating, but I can just picture how that conversation would go:
Me: Er, so, I have a question about the sale of the bui�
Scary Landlord: HOW DARE YOU QUESTION ME! I�M RAISING YOUR RENT BY THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS!
That might not happen, of course, but better safe than sorry. Anyway, SL also informed me that a letter regarding this little matter had been placed in everyone�s mailbox. I did not claim the letter right away, because of the run, but picked it up after the daily mail had already arrived.And here�s where you need to pay close attention. It would seem that NotDon, SL�s unbalanced arch-nemesis, picked this most inconvenient and coincidental moment to strike again, leaving a complicated letter regarding security deposits and tenants� rights, complete with a printout of the relevant California civil codes in question. So, when I retrieved SL�s letter of, �Hey, your building manager�s been fired for spreading LIES, except, oh, wait, they kind of weren�t lies, because the building is still being sold, and the closing date at present is still actually the end of this week like he said, although I have the option to put it off another thirty days�mind you, I haven�t done that yet, but I could�but either way, he�s FIRED off of this shit,� I also got a sealed envelope that appears to be from NotDon with the tersely-written notification about the security deposit thing.
Now, I�m reasonably certain that the sealed envelope did not come from SL, because SL has never in the two-plus years we�ve been here actually mailed us anything, and the grammatical errors and typed signature are hallmarks of NotDon�s handiwork. But you have to admit that the timing is impeccable. As for what�s going on in the realm of SL vs. (Ex-)Building Manager, I�m less certain. The building manager informed me that the new owner was prepared to make some generous provisions for people who moved out peacefully, including paying for a mover, but since someone tipped SL off about it, we now have to go to him about it, and there�s no telling what he�ll admit to us, since he�s already proclaimed the building manager�s allegations to be false, while at the same time confirming several of them in the same paragraph.
I guess the bottom line is that, no matter who was telling the most truth, and where the chips lie at the end of the day, we�re still getting kicked the fuck out of the building. Anybody know of any nice, clean places to live with boring landlords and fewer hate-filled former tenants?
Someone Got Here By Searching For: mud boots I�m Watching: 24. Does anybody else think that Secretary of State James Heller needs to shut the hell up? I�m Reading: I�m, like, six pages out from the end of Native Tongues, but darned if I can find the time to sit down and just finish with it!