I�ve had some weird dreams lately. I was going through a bunch of old pictures the other night, looking for a particular one (which, of course, I didn�t find), and I stumbled across a set of photos that had been taken a long time ago by my high school friend, Scary Religious Girl, when I went and visited her in college. It got me thinking: whatever became of SRG, since lo these many years hence when she suddenly up and stopped speaking to me for no good reason I could discern, save possibly for the fact that I am a ribald heathen who�oops!�has a tendency to crush on boys. Not that she knew about the boys. She just decided I was the first part. Or so I can only assume since she STOPPED TALKING TO ME.
Like that was a big loss. Anyway, the point of all of this is that I found those pictures on Sunday night, and twice now this week I�ve had dreams involving SRG. Both were quite different in tone from each other (as you shall witness, below), and both seem to be sending me some sort of message. Although, damned if I can figure it out. You�d think by now the Universe would have learned I have enough trouble with the messages that are totally obvious, let alone the mystical dream ones. And anyway, I mean, how are you supposed to know which dreams are messages and which ones are just bullshit? Like, I once had a dream about fluorescent lights at Disney World (no, I did), so does that mean I�m supposed to become Michael Eisner�s electrician? I really hope not. I also had a dream I made a flying machine, so keep your fingers crossed that that one was the real message.
In any event, in one dream, I was at a garage sale with my mom, and she totally made me dress up like Gwen Stefani, and then Scary Religious Girl and her Scary Religious Husband showed up out of nowhere, and I started panicking, because I figured she�d see me in my Stefani-wear, know I was a ribald heathen for sure, and then there�d be the really awkward judging and stuff. In the second dream, I was at my parents� palatial mansion (which doesn�t exist, so far as I�m aware), and then, out of the blue, Scary Religious Girl shows up, only she�s all hard-drinking and hard-talking, and bleached out, and make-up-slathered�twice the Scary and less than the half the Religious, let me tell you�and she�s brought a whole bunch of loud, vulgar, obnoxious friends with her, and suddenly I have to keep them all in line, and I�m totally nervous about it.
I have no idea what these dreams mean. She has polarly opposite characteristics in them, and the only constant is that, well, she scares me. Why am I so intimidated by her? Particularly considering that we haven�t even spoken in quite some time. Maybe my brain is just exploring the possible paths her life could have taken since last we met. Or talked, since it was a phone conversation. At any rate, for some reason, I live with the constant wondering as to what she thinks about me now, if she thinks about me now. Perhaps because she made such a big stink of her morality and whatever, like, what a square, but I constantly felt the need to toe the line around her. Now that she�s not around, I feel much freer to behave as I want...and yet her moral compass ticks like a time bomb in the back of my mind.
Have you ever been haunted by someone? Like, you�ll meet them, and maybe you know each other for a little while, or maybe it�s just for a few weeks, or one night, or whatever it may be, and yet for some reason you always find yourself thinking about them? I have a couple of these people, and something recently has stirred all my memories up of them. I wonder if I�ll ever stop thinking about them.
Either way, my dreams need to figure out this SRG business, because I�m starting to get the idea that she may be walking in the door someday soon. And whether I�m dressed like Gwen Stefani, or she�s acting like chair-tossing Jerry Springer guest, I�ll be the one escaping out the window.
Someone Got Here By Searching For: Michael Phelps butt I�m Watching: Lost. That is one fucked-up island, y�all. And: Alias. If it�s wrong to have the hots for Michael Vartan while he�s dressed as a priest, then I...am probably going to hell.