� Memoirs of an Evil Genius �
Conquering the World, One Martini at a Time

� The Light at the End of the Tunnel �
12:51 p.m., 2004-05-21

Ugh. More training. Fortunately, she�s in with Sophie for the morning, which means I�ve been left to my own devices for a short time. I still hate this, though, because there�s still precious little flexibility to my schedule. I�m not allowed to start filing all the paperwork that�s been building up for the week, for example, until they�re done, because I�m supposed to show NNNG how it works. It�s great that I�ll have help, but putting off the start time is only going to make it worse, really. I would take advantage of that time by catching up on all my backlogged stuff, but I�ve just been given a tremendous and asinine assignment to do some graphic formatting for Sally, and�well, I finally get to fuck around online for a while, and damned if I won�t.

Anyway, I�m anxious for this new girl to get into the groove and start figuring out where her niche is, as far as day-to-day operations are concerned. It�s no mere coincidence that work began the slow and steady conquest of my life the very day Sam departed and Sophie appointed me her de facto bionic right arm. It�s nice to be trusted with such responsibility, and nicer still to know that through it all, I�ve retained her confidence and garnered praise as well -- and for a guy known to have once gotten lost in his hometown during a lunchtime trip to the bank, this is quite a personal revelation. However, internal victories aside, my stress levels are surveying the world from heretofore uncharted altitudes, and I�m about one more "favor" away from an axe-murder spree, so it�s nice to feel that some of my responsibilities will be alleviated.

But only �some�. As before, Sophie�s already warned me that the new girl won�t be taking over pretty much anything I do. At least, though, there�ll be somebody else to take on some of the new things, right? Right? Because otherwise, remember the axe? And the wallpaper? You guys don�t want that to happen, do you? I swear I�m going clowns-doing-cartwheels crazy over here with all the shit on my plate and all the no time to take care of it. Man alive, I need a vacation.

Good thing I�m going on one. Oh yes! I hadn�t mentioned it up until now, but this little bird is going to fly the coop in a week, kiddies! One week. One more flaming, bloody week, and then sweet, sweet release. One week from this very moment, I will be on a plane�well, actually, that�s not totally true. At this time one week hence, I�ll probably be sitting in a terminal at JFK in New York, waiting for my connecting flight, but the feeling is the same. But after the layover, I will be crossing the blue Atlantic and making my way toward the unspoiled beauty of the Swiss Alps, where I will meet up with The Jones for wine, swimmin�, and song.

Sidebar: the phrase �unspoiled beauty� seems rather redundant to me. Can there really be such a thing as �spoiled beauty�? Wouldn�t that be the same thing as �ugly�?

Anyway, they (Arts-Friendly) are going to make me earn it, though, I can tell. I�m going to crawl over broken glass to get to that finish line, my friends, but I�ll get there. If I have to drag my severed arm along behind me, clenching a bullet between my teeth, I�ll get there. And then I�ll turn around and use my good arm to flip everybody off. Screw you bitches, I�m going to Europe!

I�m a little worried, though, because this vacation has been the light at the end of the tunnel for so long that I�m afraid I�ll come back to�well, a dark tunnel. Not terribly forgiving, that dark tunnel. But I won�t think of that, now. Right now I�m thinking about cheese, chocolate, and gorgeous Swiss men.

If I decide never to come back, I�ll let you guys know.

Someone Got Here By Searching For: all about pisceans I�m Watching: CSI, and wondering how they could possibly make another spin-off of a non-character driven show. I�m Reading: My Swiss guidebook. Over and over and over�

A Year Ago, I Said:

The book sucked, but all�s well that ends in prison rape, I guess.
On Good TV and Lousy Books
5-21-2003

� 2005 by Dr. No, all rights reserved; you break it, you buy it.



Keep abreast of the progress in my global conquest! Sign up here and get notified when I update my site:
email:
Powered by NotifyList.com


my last adventure: Training Day

my next adventure: My Love is Like...What the Hell?

� look around �
my brilliant new plan
my fiendish archives
contact me
guestbook
random genius
landlord
dancing brave
go fug yourself
gwentropy
knee deep in the hoopla
may day
mister zero
rusty nail
so that happened
ultratart
my decorator
check out the news