I was going to tell you guys about the emails I�ve been getting from my ex-girlfriend, Honey Ryder (Lesbian Extraordinaire). Basically, the fact of the matter is that we haven�t had a normal conversation, probably since high school. Maybe not even then.
But after I graduated, she moved off to San Diego or some such to pursue different facets of her life, and our communications became even stranger still. I would get the occasional mass e-mail, on which mine was the only address I would recognize, and I�d write back, all, "Hey, how�s it going?" and she�d respond like, "Oh�um�okay. Why are you writing me?" And I�d be like, "Never mind, then."
Well, I got another mass e-mail from her the other day, informing us all that she and her wife are no longer together, and I wrote back expressing my condolences and asking how she�s doing. So she returns my message, all, "Oh, I�m fine -- I�ve cried so many tears over you that I really don�t have any left."
Oh. Um�okay? Glad you�re dealing, then? Like, what the hell am I supposed to say to that??? I mean, we didn�t even have an acrimonious breakup or anything (which, I should point out, was a mutual decision, prompted in part by the fact that SHE WANTED TO DATE GIRLS), so I�m not sure what all these tears were about, or why they seem to be prohibiting her from feeling too distressed about the breakup of her marriage. I suppose in a way it�s almost like I helped her through this, though, isn�t it? I�m such a great person.
Anyway, in other news, this girl I work with, Patrice, seriously has me at my wit�s end. I try to be very patient with Patrice, because I think that she may some issues (she once told me that one of her favorite European nations was Brazil), but sometimes I just find myself at a loss. I don�t mean that to sound horrible, but we all have days where our patience is rice paper thin, and the smallest things can set us off.
In any case, I�m getting tired of giving Patrice "five" whenever I laugh or, you know, speak. And I�m getting tired of having everything that comes out of my mouth pre-empted by an advance forecast of what I�m about to say:
Me: So I went to�Patrice: THE STORE!
Me: �to the doctor�s office, to get�
Patrice: A CHECKUP!
Me: �a shot.
And so forth. I�m not trying to be intolerant, but she�s very loud, and unfamiliar with boundaries, and rather than snap and go completely insane, I find that it�s easier to just kind of�ignore her from time to time. I think it�s better than the alternative (insanity).Anyway, I�ve got shitloads to do over here, so I�d better get cracking. Bring on the weekend.
Someone Got Here By Searching For: pipes for smoking crank And: "searching for Jackie" I�m Watching: Tru Calling, and it�s just not getting any better. I�m Worried: Because I�ve still got so much work to do�and I�m fucking around online instead.