� Memoirs of an Evil Genius �
Conquering the World, One Martini at a Time

� Stressed To Kill �
12:41 a.m., 2003-08-16

Me: So how�s it going?

KillerWorkout: Oh, fine. Thanks for calling last night to warn me about Freddy vs. Jason.

Me: You�re going to see it, right?

KillerWorkout: Well, of course.

Me: Good boy.

KillerWorkout: How�s work?

Me: Worky. I swear they�re starting to drive me crazy over there. Every time I turn around it�s �Do this!� or �Do that!� or �Hey, I have a question!� or �Help -- someone get the fire extinguisher!�

KillerWorkout: That�s a shame.

Me: Tell me about it. Sophie has had me working on this asinine project all week, and I want to just stuff it down her craw.

KillerWorkout: �unless the project is mashed potatoes, I�m going to advise against that course of action.

Me: Harrumph.

KillerWorkout: �did you just �harrumph�?

Me: Yes, I harrumphed, and I�ll do it again!

KillerWorkout: That won�t be nec�

Me: Harrumph!

KillerWorkout: Thank you.

Me: Okay, how about this: I won�t stuff the project down Sophie�s craw, but in return, I get to kill the new girl.

KillerWorkout: Is she really that annoying?

Me: Hm? Oh, no, she�s just an easy target.

KillerWorkout: That�s hardly sporting.

Me: Oh, bollocks.

KillerWorkout: �did you just�

Me: This office sucks.

KillerWorkout: Yeah, well, at least you have power.

Me: No, not really, I�m just an account representative. I don�t really have all that much clout around here. Well, I guess I have more than�

KillerWorkout: I meant like electricity.

Me: Oh yeah! You guys have that power outage thing! May Day was telling me about that! What�s it like over there?

KillerWorkout: Dark.

Me: Right. You have flashlights and candles and stuff?

KillerWorkout: Mostly we�ve been using flashlights. I�m about to go light some candles in the bathroom, though.

Me: For obvious reasons.

KillerWorkout: Right. Unless, you know, I feel like turning it into an adventure.

Me: Hee! I�ve been to bars like that.

KillerWorkout: It would be like Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, only with less iconic imagery and more blind urination.

Me: It will be your last crusade, when Mom finds out.

KillerWorkout: Point taken. She�s such a killjoy.

Me: Well, you�re moving out soon, and you can pee anywhere you want in your own apartment.

KillerWorkout: I�m going to have that saying done in needlepoint and hang it next to the sink.

Me: That sounds like inviting trouble, if you ask me.

KillerWorkout: Harrumph.

Me: I should go -- I have to flip the lights on and off a few times and run the air conditioning.

KillerWorkout: Bastard.

Me: I�ll call you over the weekend or something. I hope the power comes back on.

KillerWorkout: Actually, I�m getting really good at navigating in the dark. Like, I just instinctively know where the furnit�[CRASH!] Oopsy!

Me: Are you okay?

KillerWorkout: Uh, yeah, sure, of course! Ha ha! Why wouldn�t I be? Ha! Ha! Ha! Hey, just out of sheer curiosity and nothing at all more than that, you don�t happen to remember where Dad keeps the superglue?

Me: Not offhand�

KillerWorkout: Okay, gotta go!

Me: Uh, bye.

Someone Got Here By Searching For: crate&barrel discontinued And: syd jack relationship I�m Watching: The Amazing Race. Woooooo! I Need: More sleep. Seriously, y�all.

� 2005 by Dr. No, all rights reserved; you break it, you buy it.



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