So I began a whole �2005 retrospective� entry, and after realizing that pretty much everything I had to say about The Year That Was essentially boiled down to �I�m so lucky to have met Ulrich and to have broken up with He Who Shall Not Be Named Lest My Sense Of Pride And Character Judgment Spontaneously Cannibalize Itself In Shame that I can hardly stand it�, I sort of abandoned the concept. The first goes without saying, and...so does the second. But every time I think about the second part, and the fact that the first part happened within a week of it and therefore just how close it came to my having to say, �I�m sorry...I�d love to go out with you, but I�m in a horrible, degrading, manipulative relationshit (no typo) with a self-promulgating emotional train wreck with boundary issues,� and therefore missing out completely on a fulfilling and adult relationship, I get the icy cold Pirate Ghost shivers deep in the pit of my soul. So leave us discuss something else, hmm?
I rang in 2006, sitting on the couch and sipping champagne with Dr. Goodhead, in our pajamas. Really, it was a perfect way to begin the year, and I hope the standard continues throughout. 2006 may perhaps be a very big year, so a little consistency and sedentary comfort would necessarily be such a bad thing. We stuffed ourselves, drank a little champagne, and had great conversation�all of which was a nice standard to set for the next twelve months, too. We also didn�t make any New Year�s Resolutions, which I think is an equally great standard. No resolutions, no disappointment, I always say.
Well, okay, maybe I can make ONE resolution: find a damn job. I mean, I�m loving being unemployed�I always do�but there�s always that little worm of fear that burrows into my consciousness and nags me constantly about needing money for things. Pay your rent! Buy some food! Pay for gas! Your headlight is out and all of a sudden your fucking car stereo doesn�t work and the manual has nothing in it that addresses the particular error message you�re getting every time you try to turn the fool thing on! Always the same.
Okay, so that�s resolution number two: a return to monetary vigilance. For about a year and a half, I was soooo good at not spending, and then the later part of 2005 saw my coffers open up and purge like Lindsay Lohan at an after party. And I don�t regret most of the expenditures (especially since at least half the money was spent on Christmas and birthday presents), but I also showed an increased tendency to eat out when I should have eaten in, to go to the movies when I should�ve waited till they came out on DVD (or, in the case of Land of the Dead, just saved my damn cash all together), and to pony up the extra buck for the brand name merchandise. Not that there�s anything wrong with the brand name stuff�it�s usually worth the extra buck�but if you can make do with the off-brand stuff, then you�re saving a buck on everything you buy, every time you buy. That�s a lot of bucks, folks.
But I didn�t mean to get all Suze Ormond on you guys. And by the way, how the fuck do you pronounce her name? Is it like �Suzy� or like �Sooz�. Because it looks like �Sooz�, but you just KNOW that she pronounces it �Suzy� because SOMEtimes the �e� makes that sound, you guys. Can you imagine sitting next to her in middle school? �Um, actually? It�s pronounced �SuZEE�. It�s a long e, like in �epitome�, which means �one that is typical of a whole class; embodiment� [and you just know that she would SAY �semi-colon� when she got there, too], and if you�re going to be an English teacher, you should really be more careful about stuff like that. Also, what kind of 401k do you have?� I think I would�ve killed her.
Well, anyway, in the meantime (while I wait for a job listing to appear, or to present itself), I suppose I�ll just sit here and watch Passions, Remington Steele, and Mission: Impossible (the series, not the Tom Cruise thing, because although I think the first movie was okay and the third movie looks like it has promise�thanks SOLELY to the involvement of J. J. Abrams�M:I 2 was crap) and through them find vicarious excitement in my life.
Just like last year.
Someone Got Here By Searching For: O.J. Simpson Christmas ham I�m Watching: Remington Steele, and reveling in the cheesy goodness that was eighties episodic mystery shows. I�m Reading: Still working on Destination Unknown, aka So Many Steps to Death. Ironically, now that I have nothing to do all day, I don�t have any time to read.