� Memoirs of an Evil Genius �
Conquering the World, One Martini at a Time

� "No Pie, No Gain" �
10:21 a.m., 2004-03-25

Wednesday TV sucks now, you guys. I mean, it really sucks. When did that happen? I used to enjoy Wednesdays! In fact, Wednesday used to be one of my top preferred television viewing nights of choice that I would pick above many others! And now? It�s like, there�s The O.C., and a new episode of Angel every couple of months, and that�s about it. And don�t try to sell me the American Idol results show, either, because we�re all stocked up on crap here at Memoirs of an Evil Genius.

But methinks it�s time to move away from the TV. Methinks I talk too much about the TV. Methinks I�ve already surpassed my quota of the word �methinks� in this entry alone. But it�s such a great word, isn�t it?

Last night I did my full workout for the first time since the accident, and my body was apparently really starting to get into the groove of only exercising two or three times a week in a nice, half-assed kinda way. I�m quite sore this morning, is what I�m saying. But I guess it�s a good sore. They say �no pain, no gain�, right?

Actually, why do they say that? That�s just encouraging pain, don�t you think? Not that I�m a big wuss who�s afraid of a little bit of pain (even if needles do make me light-headed), but couldn�t we change that to something like �no pie, gain�? Or �no winning the lottery, no gain�? Although that could be bad, too. At least with �no pain, no gain� you have the certain option of avoiding pain altogether by not gaining. With those other suggestions, it seems more like if you want pie or money, you have to gain in order to get it, and we all know the gaining is the hard part. Except, I guess, in the pie instance, in which case the leads directly to the other in a cause-and-effect sort of way, if the �gain� refers strictly to your weight.

Mmm�pie�

Yesterday, Corinne pointed out that I seem "less happy" here than before, which I assume to be the product of my workload increasing a good 75% with Sam�s departure, and my salary still perilously circling the drain in that really quick spiral that bubbles make just before they get sucked down into complete oblivion. I�m not sure what prompted her observation. Maybe it was when I threw that chair and started screaming about hating it here. I�m kidding, that didn�t happen. I built those chairs, I wouldn�t risk damaging one if you paid me! Well, actually, it would depend on how much you were willing to pay me. Remember the drain metaphor? All things are negotiable.

Well, almost all things. Unfortunately, you can�t negotiate your way out of pie calories.

Yet.

Someone Got Here By Searching For: "lusty couples" And: dr take a look to her pussy [Uh, no thanks, I�m not into that.] I�m Watching: The O.C., obviously. I�ll give Paris Hilton all the fame she wants if she�ll just get the hell off my TV, already. And: Letterman, because Yoanna read the Top Ten list. Go, Yoanna! Wooooo!

A Year Ago, I Said:

"I feel I must ask this question: what the hell happened to Lara Flynn Boyle? � she�s got bangs like a soccer mom from Branson, Missouri, and these huge wax lips! I mean, this collagen thing has got to stop. I enjoy full lips as much as the next guy, but only if they�re natural. Implants throw off your whole facial equilibrium, you know? Those lips aren�t bee-stung, they were systematically attacked by a squadron of Portuguese Man-o-War Jellyfish."
A Cast of Thousands
3-25-2003

� 2005 by Dr. No, all rights reserved; you break it, you buy it.



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