To kick things off on a positive note, I�d just like to report that I finally finished paying for my glasses last night. Not my sunglasses, mind you, but my eyeglasses, which I mention being about to purchase at the end of that entry to which I just linked. I realize it�s been quite a long while since I actually got them (eight months, give or take), but those of us who are not independently wealthy are sometimes forced to put certain higher-priced items on a payment plan. That plan being to run off with the goods in the middle of the night.
But I kid. I paid in installments, and I finally installed the last payment yesterday evening, which means my glasses will no doubt be breaking any day now. Not that I�m a fatalist.
Let�s talk of other things, about which I am trying not to be fatalistic. Like my job. I don�t think I�m getting fired anymore, but rather quite the opposite, and it is filling me with an incongruous sense of dread. I mean, one would ordinarily consider job security to be a good thing, but I�m starting to view myself as being not so much "secure" as much as "trapped like a caged animal".
With Sam out of the picture, and no one being ushered in to take over where she left off, a good 50% of her duties have been naturally sloughed off onto me. I saw this coming (with no small amount of fear, I will admit), and really steeled myself against the flood. All too well, it would seem. For the first time in ages, I�m not only meeting all of my short-sighted deadlines, but in some cases, exceeding them. For example, the last two Fridays have seen me walking out the door with nothing left pending for so much as the day, which hasn�t happened since�well, since I started here. The unfortunate drawback to my newfound efficiency is that Sophie has made no obvious effort to find someone else to help out.
I guess what I�m saying is that I seem to have given her the impression that I don�t need anyone to help me out anymore. And while this may strictly be true (in the short run, anyway), I think it might end up backfiring in a sort of an ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY kind of way. What I�m saying is that when it comes to work, I�m like a cheetah: good at going really, really fast and covering a lot of ground in a sprint, but if the chase lasts too long, I burn out really quickly and end up hallucinating and chasing my family with an axe through an abandoned hotel. Maybe I�m mixing my similes. You get the point, though.
Anyway, back before Sam started here, the running joke used to be that I was Sophie�s favorite. It may be the truth for all I know -- Sophie plays her hand pretty close to the chest, but she cut me a lot of slack, including allowing me to take two weeks off at the end of October for my beloved freelance gig. Anyway, now that Sam�s gone again, I�m feeling a lot of that affection returning; she�s relying on me more and more, entrusting me with more important assignments, and just generally praising my accountability.
It definitely makes me feel better as an employee to have my boss so openly depend on my services, and that part of me that�s anxious to please and to prove myself a valuable resource couldn�t be any happier about it. On the other hand, that part of me that�s already reaching for the axe and having conversations with the wallpaper is somewhat less enthused about being the right-hand man again. And leave us not bring up that whole longstanding issue about this not being my chosen vocation, and me not being entirely sure I want to be seen as so valuable in an office I�d just as soon vacate for something a little more "me".
So where is this entry going? I�m not sure. And maybe that�s the point. I�m not sure where I�m going right now. But wherever it is, at least I can see with my own two lenses. Knock on wood.
Someone Got Here By Searching For: bleeding text And: pathological sweet-tooth I�m Watching: The Apprentice. I�m so glad Katrina is gone, but�I think I hate everyone that�s left, too. Bummer. I�m Eating: Leftover cake from yesterday�s office birthday celebration. Maybe the perks here aren�t so bad�