If you�ll allow me to get all Laguna Beach for a moment, I�d like to gush about my boyfriend: Ulrich is so totally cute you guys and I can�t believe it and he�s rilly rilly sweet and this one time? He made me a picnic lunch in his apartment, like, OMG!!! And now that I�ve got that out of my system, let me stop being polite and start getting real.
Ulrich is so totally cute, and I can�t believe it, and he�s really, really sweet! I mean it! Also? The other day I was mocking Lindsay Lohan (as I am wont to do), and he looks at me kind of sheepishly and says, �Maybe this is weird, but�I don�t actually know who Lindsay Lohan is.� And I gawked at him for a minute, not entirely sure if he wasn�t jerking me around, and he added, �Like, I know she�s a singer or something, and she gets into car crashes, but�that�s it.� And I totally fell in love with him a little bit more, and started writing �Ulrich + Dr. No = LOVE� all over my Trapper Keeper in purple ink, dotting the �i� with a little heart.
I�m sorry, but to begin with, I have spent the last year wishing that La Lohan�s fame could be denied, yearning for simpler times when the celebrity ladder was not yet marred by the claw marks from her desperate ascendancy to height of notoriety, longing for someone, somewhere to be able to say TO HER FACE, �Well I�ve never heard of you � how cool can you be?� And, as it turns out, I�m DATING that person! And, aside from which, how wonderful is it that someone as completely obsessed with pop culture as I can have such a delightful balancing influence?
Also delightful? That what he does know of her is that she�s �a singer or something, and she gets into car crashes�. He then said, �I mean, who is she?� And between bouts of exultant laughter, I assured him that was all he needed to know, and that his conjecture very tidily summed up the essence of that which is the Linds. I mean, I suppose you could call her an �actress�, but even that seems too gracious a mitzvah, given what she�s done to us while bearing that mantle. And the car crash thing is too perfect. Too, too perfect.
Less than perfect was my hangover on Sunday. I haven�t really been drinking much of late, and so when I went to a birthday party on Saturday night (where the bar was open and the dress code was�togas) I guess I discovered my tolerance to be somewhat shrunken. I mean, I had a few, don�t get me wrong � it�s not as if I got shitfaced off of one screwdriver or whatever � but I used to be a lot better at this drinking thing. What I did have shouldn�t have made me quite as all-over miserable as I was all day Sunday. It turned out okay, though, because my boyfriend took care of me all day and didn�t judge me for my overall hangover grossness.
Is it sad that �doesn�t judge me for my overall hangover grossness� is actually on my list of important positive qualities in a significant other?
But okay, enough of me going on about my boyfriend. Let me return to my usual form: may the bitching commence! There seems to be something wrong with my tape deck at work. Every day when I come in, it has a new and altogether creative way to make my life difficult. On day one, the computer software refused to recognize the time code from the tape deck. Yesterday, the software recognized the time code on the tape, but the tape deck itself did not. Today? Everything I put in the machine stops having audio. And I mean, I put something in, no sound. I move it to a different machine, still no sound. I move it to a completely different model, still no sound. I put in a tape from yesterday, that HAD sound � suddenly, no sound. We then move that tape to a different machine, and it still has no sound. My tape deck is eating audio files, y�all! And this one dude in the office is actually getting mad at me over it, like I PLANNED it or something!
Anyway, hopefully they�ll view this curse as an obvious sign that I ought be set free early, and I�ll be able to go home. And Lindsay Lohan could win an Oscar.
Someone Got Here By Searching For: funny non-denominational season�s greeting cards I�m Watching: Desperate Housewives, and I really don�t care much about it, but I feel like I have to watch because it�s a total water cooler show. I�m Reading: Holy Fools, and really enjoying it! I�m close to being finished! Well, close-ish. You know me.