This isn�t ultimately where I�m planning to go with this entry, but I have to start by mentioning a certain show I watched this evening. See, The Bachelor started tonight, and it looks like it�s going to be one hell of a season. These chicks are crazy. Cray. Zee. Crazy like a coked-up, one-eyed clown on poppers. I mean there�s crazy�and then there�s this season�s crop of bachelorettes. Like, did you see that one girl with the big, scary eyes during the selection ceremony? And the chick who totally collapsed when she didn�t get picked, after meeting and talking with the Bachelor for, oh, an hour? That�s about ten pounds of crazy stuffed in that little five-pound bag, there. And just from watching the previews for the rest of the season, I�m here to tell you that these ladies are going to unravel faster than a cable-knit sweater from Marshall�s. Somebody�s gonna get maced, stabbed, and kicked in the junk before the season�s over, mark my words.
So, remember how I�m not paying my bills anymore? I�ve decided to apply the same rhetoric to my car insurance. And registration. I mean, what a fucking gyp, right? I already registered my car once, damn it, why should I be forced to pay to have it registered again? It really isn�t my problem if they can�t seem to keep track of my car, you know? It�s not like it changes shape, or anything. Most of the time it just kind of sits there, anyway. Now, if it was, like, Optimus Prime or something sweet-ass like that, it would be a different story. I�d have no problem paying extra for that kind of shit.
Wouldn�t that be cool if your car was a Transformer??? Well, I guess it would only be sort of cool, because then it would always be running off on its own to battle the evil Decepticons, or whatever, and I think stuff like that causes the value of your auto to depreciate pretty quickly. I think your premiums would skyrocket if your agent knew that your car was locked in a nightly war to rid the planet of a bunch of evil anthropomorphic robot/cars hell-bent on world domination. I mean, that�s a lot of wear on the engine, you know?
Also, that raises another question: Do you think the Transformers were required to register and insure themselves? And in order to register (or get insurance), you have to provide your driver�s license...are anthropomorphic robot/cars forced to take a driving test? Dude, what if you were a part-time car and you couldn�t pass the written? You�d be so screwed. You�d have to stay a robot all the time and try to hitch a ride with your anthropomorphic robot/car friends. And do you think you�d be prohibited by law from even turning into a car until you were sixteen?
Or whatever. I mean, I don�t really understand all these new driving laws. Mine was the last generation to get their license at the age of sixteen without having to go through this new, complicated-ass training program. Like, when I was learning to drive, as long as you didn�t commit vehicular manslaughter while your instructor was in the car with you, you got your license. Nowadays, teenagers go through about six different permits, and each one has this whole list of restrictions and shit. Like, you can only drive between 10:00am and 10:00pm and you have to have at least two licensed adults in the car, and you have to have one of those beaded, ergonomic seat covers, and you have to listen to Cat Stevens, and wear a blue sweater made from the wool of angora sheep from the eastern slope of Mount Fuji, and be able to write your name backwards with your left hand, and a whole bunch of other stuff. I don�t know, but I think maybe we�re asking too much of today�s youth. Those beaded, ergonomic seat covers really suck all the cool out of your life if you�re a teen, you know?
So anyway, that�s why I�m not paying my car insurance.
Someone Got Here By Searching For: jude law vanity fair And: EVIL HIGH SCHOOL FRIENDS I�m Watching: The Thin Man, starring William Powell and Myrna Loy. I�m Reading: Okay, I�m still making my way through chapter one, but I�ve made some decent progress.