It�s baaaa-aaaack!
Of course I am speaking of that (blessedly) unique and (relentlessly) ubiquitous dreadnought of bad taste and vociferous pandering, American Idol. It�s like a freight train of tactless, brazen ingratitude, this show, and we�re all tied to the damn tracks. And it won�t even get "good" for over a month, y�all. Right now we�re mired down in all the audition episodes, which is just a thinly veiled excuse for the producers to pimp a bunch of school-age children who would do anything to be on TV, even for just four seconds of heartless mocking at the hands of three alleged adults. Three "adults", if you will, whose authority on the subject of music is questionable at best.
These first few episodes are nothing more than a "best and worst" drama-thon, really. Which is great, if you can handle watching people alternately humiliate themselves or turn their ego jets on high and inflate to capacity before making good on their claims of excellence and forcing you to wish harm on another human being. Neither of these things is good for the soul. I hate watching people suck, because I feel bad for them, but even more than that I hate watching some self-congratulating jackass smarm his way to the next level of the competition by actually being as good as he says he is.
Of course, those folks are few and far between, because as history has proven, no one on this show is as good as he says he is (or she, for that matter). I mean, who are these people, anyway? And then, to compound the already insufferable level of frustration, the judges seem to have developed their own competition whereby they�re trying to see who can become the most prominent face of AI. Simon Cowell, the defending champion (and quite possibly also the most tiresome) has made a cottage industry of insulting people for believing in themselves, and it would seem Randy Jackson (most famous at this point for using the word "dawg") covets that throne.
Paula, of course, is just Paula. Or maybe Ralph Wiggum.
Anyway, the point is that I�ve already had about enough of watching them tear innocent people to shreds just so they can be quoted on Entertainment Tonight. Save the nasty comments for people who really deserve it. People like "Scooter Girl". If you watched last night, you know who I�m talking about, and if you didn�t watch�you�re one lucky bastard. Seriously, thirty seconds into her extended life story (which she prattled into the camera like she was a guest on a Barbara Walters special and the rest of us were an audience that actually cared) May Day and I started screaming at the TV for her to just shut up! But she didn�t shut up! She just kept going! Every time she opened her mouth it was something else obnoxious and self-promoting, like she was some kind of human billboard, advertising herself.
Oh my gosh, I would watch this show all season long if it culminated in her getting tossed out on her can. As it is, May Day and I have both decided that until they get to the "goods"? We�re sitting this one out.
Someone Got Here By Searching For: artificially sweetened chocolate covered almonds And: "pressure of speech" �band �music �cd I�m Watching: Well, American Idol, obviously. I�m Also Watching: Vh1�s Bands Reunited, and it�s actually a fascinating program, all things considered.