Me: Okay, body�up and at �em!Body: Uh�no.
Me: �No�? What the hell do you mean, �no�?
Body: Listen, I�ve given this a lot of thought, and I�m not going along with your little plans anymore.
Me: Hey, you can�t do that! I�m in charge, here!
Body: Oh really? Who�s the one dragging itself out of bed every single morning? Who�s the one jogging every other day?
Me: That�s a collaborative effort. And besides�
Body: Besides nothing. Mmm�isn�t it toasty here in bed?
Me: Well, yes, but�
Body: Oh look! If you pull the comforter up a little farther, you can�t even see the light coming in through the windows! It�s like nighttime!
Me: It may well be, but I still think�
Body: Mmm�feel how soft this pillow is! It�s like cotton candy.
Me: Mmm�candy.
Body: Candy!
Me: I like candy.
Body: Candy likes you.
Me: Mmm�
Body: Rock-a-bye baby, on the�
Me: Wait a minute, I see what you�re doing!
Body: Rats.
Me: Nice try, but we�re getting up!
Body: No, we�re really not.
Me: Yes we are!
Body: Nope. See how I�m snuggling the other pillow? Not going anywhere.
Me: This is mutiny!
Body: Will you shut up? I can�t sleep when you get like this.
Me: LA LA LA LA LA! I�M NOT GOING BACK TO SLEEP!
Body: �damn I hate you.
Me: Listen, if you get out of bed now, I�ll�I�ll give you an extra piece of chocolate today! You like the chocolate.
Body: All right, fine. Man, I�m easy.
Me: It�s all for the best. If you don�t get up, we don�t make money. No money, no chocolate.
Body: I suppose. Now that we�re getting up, though, I think maybe we should take a moment and discuss the appalling lack of sex I�ve been getting.
Me: �Rock-a-bye baby, on the treetop�
Someone Got Here By Searching For: "tire rotation" Cincinnati And: "through a hole in a paper plate" I�m Watching: Back episodes of Alias. Still. And: Um, that one about the funny home videos. Don�t hate me.