So the good news is that I have returned from my parent-meeting adventure in parts east, and it was a rousing success! Ulrich�s mother is a charming and effervescent woman who exudes hospitality, and would regularly turn to me and tell me how glad she was to meet me and to have me around. This was really about as wonderful a reception as I could have hoped for�certainly better than the alternative, it must be said�and besides all that, I also made out like a bandit. Er, and by that I don�t mean Ulrich and I sucked face while wearing Lone Ranger masks and holding big bags marked with dollar signs, but that I was practically tripping over gifts that his mother insisted I take back with me. In some cases it wasn�t �practically� so much as �actually, and then almost falling face-first into an angry cat�.
Before we came back to Los Angeles, Ulrich and I made the drive out to the Grand Canyon, which I had never seen before. I was quite excited about this part of our trip because...well, I mean, I had never seen it before, and EVERYBODY has seen the Grand Canyon! It�s this huge natural landmark, and it�s right here in the US, and it�s supposed to be all huge and impressive and all that shit, so I was all revved up for it. Well, we drove up and paid our $20 to get in, and we drove to one of the lookouts, and...okay, here�s what nobody ever tells you about the Grand Canyon: it�s a big hole. It�s a big, big hole, and unless you�re going hiking or rafting or, I don�t know, hang-gliding through it, you�ve really only got one angle on it. So you look down into this big, big hole, and then you turn and look in the other direction, and then you turn back, and you look at all the tourists who are there with you and they�re all taking pictures of the hole, and then you get back in your car, and...you�re done.
I mean, it�s an impressive hole (oh, if only I had a dollar for every time I�ve said that�I�m proud to say I�d have one dollar), but that�s all it is. It�s not worth $20, my friends. What was worth it was when seven cute little deer came out of the woods and right into the road. One of them sauntered up to our car and all but poked his little head in through my window. There was another one eating snow with this adorable little expression on his face, like, �This is bizarre...my food is turning into water inside my mouth!� Oh, if only I had a dollar.... Anyway, it was so cute I couldn�t hardly stand it. It might have been less cute if the deer had been spooked and, like, charged the car, or tried to stomp me through the window with their sharp little hooves, but thankfully this did not happen.
I�ve been back since Tuesday (and unemployed since November), and I�ve spent the week catching up on the four-hour premiere of 24. So, like, the first season of 24 was awesome, right? And the second season was...a little less so. And the third season a little less than that, and then last season made some serious improvements by getting rid of certain characters we didn�t give a shit about (read: Kim, Chase, et al), bringing back characters we did give a shit about (Tony, Michelle), and boosting visibility of certain characters we loved inexplicably (Chloe). But it was still a threadbare and contrived storyline that paled creatively next to season 1. So I had low, low expectations going into this season, but HOLY CRAP did it pull me right back in! Although�and I asked this last season, too�WHAT in the HELL is Audrey still doing on my TV?
Memo to the 24 creative team: she is not interesting. She is not compelling. I don�t care about her relationship with Jack, and I do not care about her relationship with _____ (fill in the blank). She has traditionally been weepy and whiny and wilting, and THAT�S NOT FUN TO WATCH! On the other hand, however, I cannot thank you guys enough for adding Jean Motherfucking Smart to the cast�that is the BEST thing you have done for this show since season one, PERIOD. Well played, creative team. Well played indeed.
Perhaps next time I will have someone of consequence to report. But...don�t count on it. And for that? I really would like a dollar per.
Someone Got Here By Searching For: �hunched over the toilet� I�m Watching: 24. Go, Jean Smart! It�s your birthday! I�m Reading: Stuff, and things. But mostly I�m eating chocolate and watching TV, because I�m unemployed and starting to worry about it.