So. Without preamble, I�ll just say it: I am single once again. I ended things with Clyde last Thursday, and am firmly embedded in that sluggish phase of relationship exodus where you�re dealing, and you wish you could just be done dealing, but a part of you wants to continue dealing because the dealing is all you have left of a relationship that wasn�t all bad (despite certain problems), but dealing is depressing and getting text messages at 2:00 in the morning asking you to reconsider is emotionally taxing and you�re really just sick ot typing out the word �dealing� anyway, and blah.
I haven�t really publicized the problems that Clyde and I had in our relationship (at least not in this space) because I�m just not comfortable putting it all out there on the great wide web for everyone to read about, partly in deference to his right for privacy, but the issues and complications that ultimately led me to call things off have been plaguing me for a while. It�s been less than a week, but all the usual break-up symptoms are emerging: I�m in turn depressed, relieved, scared, optimistic, assured, and guilty. It�s tough to lose the security and familiarity of a relationship that spanned the last six months, but there�s also something a little exhilarating about being able to look at cute boys again and consider the possibilities. Clyde and I are still negotiating what our post-relationship relationship will be, and despite my debacle-licious history of trying to remain friends, I�d really like to try. Understandably, the onus for this will be on me, and the moment that one or either of us moves on will be awkward, to say the least, but I hope it can work out.
Anyway, I�ve already managed to snag some guy�s phone number, so don�t worry about me. I mean, okay, so it wasn�t so much �snagged� as much as sort of �creepily forced upon me�, and he wasn�t really �some guy� as much as he was �some guy hanging out the passenger window of an SUV that made his friend pull over twice before actually getting out of the car to physically stop me and thrust his phone number into my (clearly) unwilling hand�. I mean, I may be the one who put the kibosh on my relationship, but I a) am not quite ready to move on immediately, b) am not quite ready to move on to some weirdo who would make his friend stalk me and cut me off while I�m walking home from the bookstore in order to make me take his phone number, and c) don�t want no scrub, hanging out the side of his best friend�s ride, trying to holler at me. I don�t think that�s being stuck up, either. But hey, at least I�ve still got it.
I also went and got a haircut this weekend. I went to the same place I went last time, when I pointed at a picture in a magazine and more or less said, �I want that,� and ended up with a hairstyle I actually liked and found both manageable and flattering. Too bad I was pointing to a picture of Cillian Murphy. I went back to the same place yesterday morning, and had a different lady do the job. I didn�t have time to dig out a magazine and come up with a point of reference to use as an example of how I wanted my hair to look (an exercise that is somewhat pointless, since my hair does, has done, and always will stubbornly do whatever the hell it wants, cut and product both be damned), so I told her to �just trim it.�
Boy, did she. I mean, I didn�t get scalped or anything, but this is the shortest my hair has been in about a year and a half. Not that I�m complaining, really, because I actually prefer my hair short, it was just unexpected. I�d been wearing my hair a little longer because it was kind of vogue for men to do the shaggy look for a time. Unfortunately, my follicles don�t really do shaggy. As it turns out, they do ringlets, and while I always kind of liked that look on others, it�s a very specific kind of look, and it hampered my ability to explore other stylistic choices. So my hair is shorter, and I really kind of like it. True story.
So in any event, I�m going to dinner with Domino tonight where I will try out my short hair in public and hopefully have a little break-up chocolate binge. I haven�t really done that yet (okay, I had a candy bar yesterday, but it was the only bad food I had all day long, and I�d worked out, so I don�t think that technically counts) and I�m kind of looking forward to it.
Someone Got Here By Searching For: ohmygaw I�m Watching: Passions, and am getting more and more wrapped up in this tsunami story! How awesome is Liz now that she�s stopped being a tiresomely conniving and unaccountably bitchy tertiary character and started being a batshit crazy, stab-happy, possibly delusional secondary character? I�m Reading: Ten Big Ones again, still, but at least I�m making progress.
