Know what I hate? Okay, actually, that�s not such a good question to start out with, because anyone who reads this journal with any kind of frequency either already has a very good idea of just what, exactly, it is that I hate, or has figured out that the Hate list is pretty much all-inclusive and indiscriminate. But I�m going to add to the list (or modify it again, whatever) so bear with me for a moment.
Once or twice already I�ve expressed my outrage with people who disturb your peace and pester you for something you are unwilling or unable to provide, and then cop an attitude with you for failing to correct the problem with their life that you heretofore didn�t know about. Hand in hand with that particular peeve comes hate for its first cousin: assholes who say �donation� when what they really mean is �price�.
I was in LAX a few years back, and waiting for my flight to start boarding, when some weird Hare Krishna type stopped me in the middle of the terminal to ask me if I had any interest in the hereafter. For the purposes of that particular conversation, I had absolutely no interest in either the here or the after, and told him so, at which point he endeavored (completely of his own volition) to push his luck. He handed me some stupid hardcover book and told me it had been published by some group of monks in far-off Wherever and he really wanted me to have it and read it and cherish it, and it was �free�.
I debated my options at that point, which were to a) be truthful and say, �I don�t care if it�s free or not, I still don�t want a copy of your damn book�go give it to a confused college student,� or b) smile politely, accept the book, and then toss it in the trash as soon as his back was turned. I opted for b), because I figured it was the shortest way out of this awkward and annoying confrontation. I chose wrong. The minute the book was in my hands, he brought up that trifling matter of the �donation� the monks were asking in return for the book.
I tried to give it back, saying I didn�t have any cash. He wouldn�t accept this as a response and asked if I was sure, which I told him I was, and he then impatiently asked if I didn�t even have any change, and I told him that all I had was a penny, and I pulled the penny out and showed it to him so he could see I wasn�t lying, and he gave me a really long and unforgiving look before sniffing, �Maybe you should take this smaller book.�
That�s when I�d had all I could take. As I forced the stupid book back into his hands, I told him to keep the books, and the penny, and just leave me the hell alone. That�s when he freaked out, because he was sure that by pissing me off he�d just turned the Universal balance of karma against himself. There was a certain poetic justice to that, I think.
I bring this up because last night, some woman tried to �give� me some incense, for which she only wanted a �donation� in return. I told her I didn�t want the incense and she assured me in soothing tones that I �deserved� it, and repeated that part about the donation. I apologetically informed her I didn�t have any cash, and tried again to return the incense so she could give it to someone else, and that�s when she snapped, �Well, what about change? Do you have any of that?� Against all better judgment to the contrary, I grabbed the handful of nickels and dimes I keep in my car for parking meters and gave it to her, hoping she�d shut up and go away already. Fat chance.
�This is it?� She practically spat. Then she threw the change at my face, told me to keep the incense, and started to leave. My only regret is that I didn�t torpedo her in the head with the incense and call her out. If you ask for change, don�t act pissed off when you get it. If you say �donation�, you reap the consequences of making payment optional. If you ignore someone when they say they can�t pay, after you�ve already disturbed them and asked them for something they don�t owe you, you absolutely do not have the right to act righteously indignant. Lastly, and least eloquently: fuck you.
Anyway, I will have no qualms in the future about being completely up front with people. I have no cash, I�m not accepting any �gifts�, and they can take those stings attached and just hang.
Someone Got Here By Searching For: �I don�t truck� I�m Watching: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and feeling like I�m having a stroke. I�m Reading: Attitude, a serialized detective story published in my parents� local newspaper. Interesting.