It�s that time of year again, everybody. You know what time I mean. The best time ever. It�s the time for pie.
It is inarguable that Holidays have themes, be it by design or tradition, which characterize the celebrations thereof. For Hanukkah, it�s about the candles; for Easter, it�s about the eggs (or the lamb); for Christmas, it�s about the presents and the Evangelicals getting into a tizzy about how everyone�s forgotten the true meaning of the Holiday and the secularists getting in a tizzy right back about how the true meaning has to do with love and togetherness, and even though both sides are basically arguing the same stupid values, they refuse to see eye to eye, because both view compromise as an unequivocal loss, and it just makes you start to hate the human race when you see such hypocrisy coming from people over Christmas, for crying out loud, and you finally start to understand just why Howard Hughes became a crazy hermit at the end of his life and shunned all human contact. And Halloween is about candy.
I think it is understandable, then, that when I was growing up, my favorite Holiday was the one about stuffing your face till you can�t stuff it anymore, and then coming back to the table on rubbery legs to get dessert. My favorite Holiday was the one where you gripe and moan all day, because you haven�t eaten anything, because heaven forbid you fill up any space inside your stomach that could be reserved for turkey, and the whole house smells sooooo good, and you just can�t take it anymore. My favorite was the Holiday all about food: Thanksgiving.
Okay, so Thanksgiving isn�t technically all about food, but about�well, giving thanks. I know this. But from a secular standpoint (save the lecture�there really is a lot I�m thankful for, and I don�t need a special day set aside for me before I�m able to recognize it and pay due respect) Thanksgiving is about food and being with people who are important to you, be they family or be they friends. Or be they the other people in your holding cell, whatever, the point is that it�s about people and eating stuff.
I�m getting sidetracked. The point I was aiming for at the top of this entry was the whole �food characterizes the Thanksgiving celebration� thing, but I seem to have flown a bit left of the target. Anyway, since Christmas decorations go up earlier and earlier each season (I swear we can barely make it to Flag Day now before people start plugging in the lights and making with the aggressive marketing strategies), our other, less commercially productive Holidays disappear into the capitalist abyss. For example, I defy anyone to tell me, without looking at a calendar or almanac, the date of Arbor Day. Conversely, Valentine�s Day was so profitable that Hallmark bankrolled a sequel, entitled Sweetest Day (and it�s got nothing on the original, you guys�seriously, don�t even bother).
Uh�okay, so I was going to make a point. Shit! I keep losing track of that. I�m sorry you guys. This entry is what it must be like inside Courtney Love�s brain. (Okay, that�s not even true. Anyone who lived through the �80s knows that Courtney Love�s brain is a lot more like, say, a fried egg. Just for instance. Not that implying anything. Although, Court? If you�re reading this? This is your brain.) In any event, my point was that although nobody�s telling me how many shopping days are left until Thanksgiving, and although nobody�s piping jazzed-up, instrumental versions of Thanksgiving carols into the department stores, I still manage to get into the spirit of things every November.
How, you ask? Very simple. The Food Network. To revisit my earlier position, that Thanksgiving is characterized by the love of food, there is no better way to feel the spirit of the Holiday than by watching an endless marathon of specials (and Very Special Episodes) about turkey and all the trimmings. Call me old-fashioned, but I like to enjoy my Holidays one at a time. I refuse to have anything to do with Christmas (save for the gift-buying, of course) until I have exhausted the joy potential out of every successive Holiday preceding it, and the Food Network gives me a singular haven wherein I can really revel in the beauty of a special day for which there are no cards or gifts or extraneous expenses.
But be forewarned. As soon as the Christmas season begins, on November 26th, I�m going to come out swingin�.
Someone Got Here By Searching For: Pull Pranks On Your Friends [And just see how much longer you keep them.] I�m Watching: The Amazing Race. It�s a great, great show, but�isn�t it a bit early to be having another season already? Plus Which: Who put it across from Veronica Mars? Seriously, I�m not happy about this! CHANGE IT!