Kill me now, and make it snappy. Make it neck snappy.
The battle lines have been clearly drawn, and Arts-Friendly is at war. I�ll spare you all the gruesome details, but our east coast office sucks turd, and I�m sick of it always being my responsibility to kowtow and make sure that we�re meeting all of their overblown and perceptionally-skewed demands. I mean, essentially, Sophie has made me their office bitch, and they�re treating me accordingly. Of course she still considers me her office bitch, too, so my bitch duties are pretty much multiplying and dividing like sea monkeys. And once again, the cost of running a good business seems to be my dignity. My dignity�s going for a lot, these days.
But let�s not talk about it anymore. Instead, let�s talk about�oh shit, I can�t think of anything else to talk about. No, wait, I can do this! Let�s talk about�Forever Eden, that new reality show about to debut on FOX!
As you must be aware by now, FOX pretty much has the market cornered on trash reality TV, which, in this post-Springer age, is quite an auspicious accomplishment. Well, perhaps �auspicious� isn�t the right word. Maybe try �shameful�. I mean, what with people being married by America, big, fat, obnoxious fianc�s, and what have you, they just keep lowering the bar and then trying to slither beneath it, like a game of programming limbo. Now, I confess I don�t know a whole lot about Forever Eden beyond what the ambiguous promos have revealed, but it would appear as though it�s some kind of unholy union between Paradise Hotel and Temptation Island. Two cheap tastes taste cheap together!
Seriously. It�s not like I expect much more from FOX, the network that has televised actual (as opposed to just metaphorical) train wrecks in a bid for ratings, but you�d think there would come a time when the American public became, if not disgusted, than at least bored with this kind of crap. It�s like�Pixie Stix. There�s nothing particularly exceptional about them, but it�s really easy to get addicted to them. You have one, you get a sugar buzz, and you feel a little decadent. You have another and you start to feel a little more buzzed, but now your teeth have that upholstered feeling. After another, your hands start shaking and you think you just might be getting ready to barf. After a while, America, aren�t you sick of Pixie Stix? Don�t you want something more substantial?
And their ads are a little self-defeating, too, if you ask me. There�s this one where they begin by talking about all the drama on shows like Melrose Place and 90210, and then the clincher is, "but this spring, it will all happen to real people!!!" Like that somehow makes it better. I�m sorry, but if I want to see pretty people getting stabbed in the back, I�d just as soon watch Melrose Place. Melrose Place, where real actors with a real script overreact to unrealistic problems. As opposed to reality shows, which have real idiots with real delusions, overreacting to exaggerated problems they pretty much bring upon themselves.
Fake people are so much classier than real people. Ever notice that?
Someone Got Here By Searching For: "shake that monkey" �too �short And: ? cnn/oscar I�m Watching: 24. I think Michelle might just be my favorite character. Too bad it might just be too late! And: America�s Next Top Model. I think Yoanna might be my favorite. Too bad it might just be�oh. Never mind.