May Day and I are sitting here in the caf� section of Borders, and don�t we look industrious! I with my laptop, and she with her notebook and ballpoint pen. We look like two dashing young writers, living and working on the cutting edge of the industry. You know, except for the fact that May Day is singing New Kids, and I�m giggling like a Girl Scout on helium because of this lady I�m watching who has a necklace made out of what looks like dried seed pods. It�s a statement, I guess. That statement being, �Don�t fall asleep!�

And now I�m chewing really loud to distract May Day. Hee! It totally worked! She just looked at me! Of course, she�s been staring at me for a while, trying to get me distracted, but that�s just the way it works when your living and working on the cutting edge of the industry. Or is that Industry? Should I capitalize that? It�s amazing what sort of things float through your head when you�re pretending to write.

May Day: I think I could balance this on my nose�nope.

So today, I kept on flirting. I�m getting better at it, too! It�s just like being back in the third grade, you know? All you have to do is tease the other person and try to make them miserable! Today I dumped a whole cup of paper clips out onto Jetson�s desk and made him pick them up, before threatening to key his car and scribble on his white shirt with a Sharpie. I think he got the message.

Damn I want to make out with him. Oops, did I just say that out loud?

May Day: Yes.

Old Lady With Headscarf: Quiet! I�m trying to read the new Jackie Collins!

See what I mean?? Not only am I a whore, I�m a homewrecker! Oh my gosh! I just ruined nine lives (if you average three children per family), and all because I couldn�t keep my tongue in my pants! Er, mouth. Actually, there�s no way to write that to make it look less filthy. But I�m filthy, with my thieving, lying, whoring ways! How could I do that to Max, Marianne, Genevieve, and baby Cosette??

But I�m serious when I say I want to make out with him. I�m also serious when I say that�s probably a really bad idea. And I don�t understand why I can�t just chill the fuck out and let it be what it�s going to be, but insist on turning it into some kind of Victorian melodrama, where I�m going to be forced to Make A Choice That Will Change Everyone�s Lives Forever. We�re just flirting, you know. It�s not like we�re betrothed.

Yet.

If those �specific occasions� are �days that end in �y��, then okay.

Someone Got Here By Searching For: �her stupid car� And: FRENCHIE DAVIS NUDE I�m Watching: May Day dangle a ballpoint pen in front of my monitor and wave it back and forth while chanting, �You are getting sleepy, veeeery sleeeeepy!�. I�m Feeling: Sleepy. And I think I�m going to buy May Day a car! And then do her laundry! And then dress up like a chicken and tell everyone my name is John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt!

my last adventure: Flirting and Hurting
�
my next adventure: It's Not a Gold Watch, But It'll Have To Do