Well, the flirtation continued apace today at Arts-Friendly Non-Profit, and the reaction was even more positive than before! Of course, it helped that I had actually tended to some of that �personal hygiene� business I regret to admit I�d been a bit lax on before. I mean, I know we all cut corners from time to time (�I don�t really have to wash my hair -- I could really just rinse it and it would look fine,� or �Shave, shmave!�), but really all it took was that one candidate for flirtation to make me realize just how far I�d fallen back in the arena of personal grooming. I was shaving only every once in a while, I wasn�t doing my hair unless it woke up angry, and I wasn�t wearing cologne anymore (although for that I blame my sister, because she bought some for me at the Duty Free back in March and still hasn�t sent it to me yet, so I�m trying to conserve my resources), but I kept thinking, �Well, who do I have to impress?�
Now I�ve got someone to impress. Getting ready for work now takes twice as long, I should point out. But I think I clean up okay, and I�ve got a few secret weapons. Like today, when I was able to capture his attention by showing off my new tattoo.
Oh, did I forget to mention that I got a new tattoo this weekend? Because I did. Get a new tattoo, I mean. If it is new tattoos of which you are speaking, I feel now would be the opportune moment for me to mention that I�ve got one. Now, don�t worry, I didn�t go overboard -- and I�m not turning into That Guy With All Those Tattoos Everywhere And Why Didn�t Anyone Stop Him And Where Did His Mother Go Wrong, either. It�s a very simple one, and, to quote May Day, it looks �bad-ass�. So I got to flash him my new, bad-ass tattoo, and his reaction was quite favorable.
Unfortunately, and still in the realm of unnecessarily decorating your body, my nipple ring seems to be infected. Now don�t everybody go running out of the room, I�m not about to describe it or anything, I�m just saying. I�ve been doing my best to take care of it in every possible way (antiseptics, solutions, liniments, vitamins, and even Dr. Foster�s Amazing Health Tincture. Well, okay, not that last one) but it�s been quite resistant, which is bothersome to say the least. I really don�t want to have to remove this thing, you guys, because I really, really like it, it was expensive, and I probably won�t ever be able to get it done again if I do remove it.
Rachel, from The Tattoo Parlor That Famous People Supposedly Go To, Although If They Do, Then Why Doesn�t The Place Look A Little Nicer, guessed ahead about my condition, and informed me that all I need to do is up the diameter of my ring -- something I was planning on doing eventually anyway -- and said that would make all the difference. Well, considering my schedule (and motherfucking traffic in this town), I don�t really have time to go gallivanting about the city, ducking into every darkened body jewelry shop around. So instead, I turned to my good friend the internet, and my good friend the internet, in turn, decided to screw me.
I swear I was just looking for a place to buy a nipple ring, but of course I ended up at some kind of filthy, online sex shop, and at work, I might add. This wouldn�t even be a real problem, except that I�ve been told by numerous sources that Sophie can and will regularly go into your computer to find out where you�ve been and what you�ve been doing. I spent twenty minutes trying to track down a Temporary Internet Files folder to delete BARGAIN SEXXX SHOP from my computer�s memory, but to no avail.
Watch and I get fired for this.
