Let�s not talk about my job today, okay? Let�s just forget about my job, and all about the day that began with me kicking ass and taking names all over the place, and ended with me and Elaine fleeing from a conference room after a particular hellacious session with a problem client that had us begging out loud for someone to stop the bleeding.

Let�s forget about all that, okay? Instead, let�s talk about�The Amazing Race! I know some of you don�t watch it -- for which you ought to be ashamed (�says the guy who didn�t watch until this, its fourth season) -- but I�m going to make this the very simple to follow -- and hopefully entertaining enough to hold the interest of those who really don�t give two shits in a cabbage patch about it -- companion to the show.

Of course, I should point out this will be the unofficial companion to the show, as it will be rife with disclaimers, including this one: where I live, the show is on right now. I�m taping it, and will watch it later, so by the time this entry goes public, everything about the show will be different, and one of the pairs discussed below may likely have been booted. My other big disclaimer is that I really don�t know shit about the show, so I kind of make stuff up to fill in the blanks from time to time. Hope that doesn�t bother you.

And now? Let us start with the segment I like to call Judging Other People You�ve Never Met, Based Entirely On The Behavior Witnessed In Carefully Edited Segments On A Reality TV Program That Puts You In High-Stress, Competitive Situations That Are Guaranteed To Bring Out The Worst In Everyone. Let�s begin, shall we?

(Disclaimer: these aren�t all the teams. These are only the ones I find entertaining enough to mention at this time. Some of these people I like, and some of them I hate; the only thing they have in common is that they all spark a reaction in me, which is more than I can say for some of the other teams, Dave and Jeff.)

Kelly and Jon -- I think these two are my favorite team at the moment. Kelly is a bit impetuous and has an unattractive habit of bullying Jon (like when she forced him, against his better judgment, to undertake what was fairly obviously the worse of two tasks and then gave him a hard time when he made some assumptions [which turned out to be correct] and wanted to look at a map), but you can tell that there�s real love there. They have a great dynamic -- Jon takes her bullying in stride, she�s able to take her medicine when she�s wrong, and she�s got this habit of sighing wistfully at Jon and commenting to the camera, �That�s the man I�m going to marry,� and I�m a sucker for that shit.

Chip and Reichen -- I want to like these two. They�re pretty, they�re gay, and they�re married -- three attributes of which I approve individually, but especially together -- but they�re also childish, bland, and a little dim. It�s a system of checks and balances.

Tian and Jaree --- These two I�d really like to hate�but I can�t. I can�t seem to find the hate, you guys! What is wrong with me? Their names are Tian and Jaree! For that reason ALONE I should hate these chicks, and yet it just makes me giggle. Am I losing my edge? Is there anything to really like about these two? Jaree is blowsy and sullen, and Tian is an obnoxious, backbiting harpy who can�t stop long enough to take a breath between the insults and criticism she heaps on her partner! They�re like the Gladys and Abner Kravitz of The Amazing Race, but I can�t seem to look away. I think maybe that�s just because I�m so sure that any day now, Jaree is going to snap and garrote Tian with a guitar string, and I don�t want to miss it.

Millie and Chuck -- If Kelly bullies Jon, then Millie has declared a state of martial law on Chuck. I mean, that poor kid can�t catch a break, and he�s wrapped around her finger like a tourniquet. I do love the way they can�t be on the TV without somehow being identified as virgins, though. Like, the text that appears at the bottom of the screen to identify them reads �Millie and Chuck -- dating twelve years | virgins�. And if they don�t show the text, one of them is sure to say something like, �So we virgins started getting lost in Geneva�� I think it�s in their contract or something. Anyway, Millie�s despotism over Chuck really bugs me, and because he seems to exist only as a foil for Millie to boss around, I don�t really like this team very much.

Actually, I think I may be a lapsed virgin.

Someone Got Here By Searching For: how to turn off jetta horn And: Clay Aiken Shirtless And: Kelly Clarkson topless And: josh gracin shirtless And: Kimberly Caldwell nude [SERIOUSLY, people, what is up with this?] I�m Watching: Dude, last night I watched the same episode of Buffy three times in a row. I think I have a problem, because I kind of want to watch it again tonight. I�m Drinking: Cherry Coke. Why can�t you get that in a keg?

my last adventure: Getting the Hang-Up
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