[Ring, ring]Me: Hello?
Sharon: Dr. No?
Me: �[Sigh] yes.
Sharon: Hi, Dr. No! It�s Sharon! From the dealership?
Me: Yes, I�recognize your voice. I told you when you called last Friday that I couldn�t afford the car, and�
Sharon: Oh, I know, but I thought maybe we could try to get you a really good deal! Wouldn�t you like a deal?
Me: Why do you keep saying �deal� like that?
Sharon: Because I want you to understand what a great deal I might be in a position to offer you!
Me: "Might be"? That doesn�t sound too promising, Sharon, and I told you I coul�
Sharon: I know what you told me, but I know how much you loved driving that convertible, and I really want to try and help you out!
Me: Well, of course I appreciate that, but the car is way too expensive. I�m not financing anything, and I doubt that even the best deal is going to co�
Sharon: Are you sure? I mean are you absolutely sure, because I really, really want you to be able to get this car!
Me: I�m pretty damn sure, Sharon.
Sharon: Maybe if we give you a couple thousand cash back�
Me: Maybe if you gave me ten-thousand cash back. And a parade. Then, maybe I would think about it.
Sharon: �ten-thousand?
Me: And a parade.
Sharon: That�s a lot of money�maybe�
Me: You heard me, Sharon. Ten-thousand is my proposition, and I�m not going to budge on that, so I guess it just won�t work out and you can stop call�
Sharon: Maybe we can make it work! How about a used car?
Me: �A used car?
Sharon: Yes! I can get you a great deal on a used�
Me: You�re going to sell me a one-year-old car for ten-thousand dollars under the cost of a brand new model?
Sharon: We can work something out.
Me: That�s not a terribly encouraging answer.
Sharon: Just give me a chance! Come down to the dealership this weekend! I�ll be here!
Me: When?
Sharon: Whenever! Just come down!
Me: You�re starting to sound a little desperate, Sharon.
Sharon: �I�m lonely.
Me: What?
Sharon: Uh, I said, �I can get you a great deal!� You should come down right away before we sell our used models!
Me: I don�t�
Sharon: You liked that yellow, right? We�ve got yellow! Or I can get you a deal on one of the floor models! Or the test-drive model! You�d like that, wouldn�t you? Wouldn�t you like that?
Me: Sharon, maybe we�
Sharon: DON�T LEAVE ME!
Me: What?
Sharon: Whoops! Ha ha! I mean, �don�t give up�! We can work something out!
Me: Sharon, I have to go, I have a meeting to get to.
Sharon: Oh, okay. But you�re coming this weekend, right?
Me: Uh�maybe.
Sharon: Well, I�ll just plan to see you this weekend.
Me: I might not come.
Sharon: But probably. I�ll see you on, say, Saturday?
Me: I don�t know if I�m going to come, Sharon.
Sharon: But maybe?
Me: I have to go, my boss is calling my name.
Sharon: Okay. See you Saturday!
Me: Maybe. But maybe not, too.
Sharon: Sure, okay.
Me: Bye, Sharon.
Sharon: Saturday!
Me: �bye.
Someone Got Here By Searching For: Unfair accusations on the game And: crazy town "come my lady" sucks I�m Watching: Alias. I love characters who are fucked-up and conflicted. Which explains my dating history. And: Home Movies. When did cartoons get to be smarter than most live-action shows out there?