Well, it�s late in the day and I�m only just getting around to starting my journal entry, but for once it�s not because I�m overworked (or because my COMPUTER IS MISSING)(because it isn�t missing)(er�knock on wood), but really it�s because I just had a hell of a time getting going today. I mean, in general. I practically had to call for the Jaws of Life to get me out of bed this morning, and since then it�s been �one foot in front of the other� all day long. When things seem overwhelming or distressingly complicated, I just tell myself, "One foot in front of the other," and eventually I get there. And then I tell myself to shut the hell up, because damn is that annoying.
What�s also annoying is the way my mother insists on telling me about her dog�s urinary tract infection. I love my mother, and I feel for her dog�s misfortune, but I never need to hear her say the word �urethra� ever, ever again. And then she�s telling me about how they had to take a urine sample (urine being another word I don�t need to hear from my mother) and I lose the rest of the sentence altogether, because I�m secretly thinking to myself, "How in the hell do you get a dog to give you a urine sample?" You can�t very well say, "Here, Sparky, pee in this cup," or whatever. Which means you�d have to get down there and�no, never mind. No, seriously, never mind, I don�t want to think about it anymore. LA LA LAAA! I can�t hear�me.
I�m in a weird mood today, y�all. I�m in the kind of mood where I feel like most of today didn�t happen. Not a bad feeling, considering I spent most of today at work. Would that I could edit that experience out of my life completely, without it being some kind of scary Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind brainwashing thing. Not that I�m entirely opposed to brainwashing in certain circumstances. I mean, I saw The Manchurian Candidate. Sometimes brainwashing is just good entertainment, you know? But I really feel like my brain spent the day in bed, watching TV, waiting for the rest of me to come back.
Last night I watched Nip/Tuck on FX, which is part two of their answer to the shows premium cable channels are using to take over the world. It�s not a bad program, really, although it totally grossed me out, and it�s the last time I watch that show so close to bedtime. Seriously, all I really need is to have nightmares about facelifts gone wrong. Or gone right, quite frankly. Have you ever seen a facelift? Anyone who thinks Nightmare on Elm Street is scary has obviously never witnessed a facelift. I mean, it�s called a "face" "lift", people. They describe the horror right there in the name!
Abruptly switching gears, Sophie brought in a bag of those pastel-colored chocolate eggs today. I�m not sure why we�re suddenly swimming in Easter candy, but it�s not like I�m going to complain. I mean, I love those things like you wouldn�t believe. Unfortunately, I�m not the only one who loves them, and it�s come to my attention that if I want to enjoy my fair share of them, I may be forced to take someone hostage. That or bury my face in the candy bowl and eat like a starved hyena at a fresh kill. And I�m not above doing either.
Anyway, it�s nearing time for me to go home, and I�m going to take full advantage of it. And then I�m going join my brain in bed. Wow. That last sentence just looks wrong.
Someone Got Here By Searching For: Fuck Gwyneth Paltrow I�m Watching: Cold Case, which isn�t a bad show, and I would totally watch it if it wasn�t on across from The Simpsons all the time. I�m Sighting: Brittany Murphy in Santa Monica. Her boyfriend is hot, y�all.