The office has been a lot quieter this week, and it perturbs me. Frankly, I�m even more bored than usual by the endless monotony of what I do. Part of that may be due to the fact that the bulk of the accounts I represent -- okay, all of them -- just recently ended, and I am now left with little to do but file and run pointless errands of one kind or another. It may also be due in part to the fact that, for the week I was ousted from my computer, I had to figure out how take care of all my work in the space of my lunch hour (the only time I had to spend alone with my software), and I now don�t know quite what to do with the other seven hours I�m on the job. Part of it may be because the Cute Receptionist is gone.
After getting up early to vote on Tuesday, for whatever it was worth (estimated value: not much), I actually ended up coming into the office earlier than usual as well. I saw CR�s things placed at the front desk, as usual, but he was not around. I went up to my office, poured some coffee, puttered around for a while, and then headed back downstairs to discover that his stuff was gone. As was he. For good. People have been stingy with the details (Sophie, for example, has yet to even acknowledge that he�s not coming back -- at least, to me she hasn�t, which is another thing that�s kind of off-putting, but we�ll get to that), but I have been made to understand that he will not be returning.
In an awful way, I�m kind of relieved. I mean, I�m not glad he lost his job, or anything, but on a purely selfish level, it�s such a weight off my shoulders, knowing that drama is all over. And how stupid is that? I�m an adult and I shouldn�t need him to be gone in order to carry on with my life in a mature way, but there it is. I�m sick of wanting him and not wanting him at the same time, feeling imprisoned by my hormones and sentenced to lust after him to the detriment of my self-esteem, and to tell the truth, I�m sick of being toyed with and taken advantage of because I make myself an easy target.
On the other hand, we did get along on a platonic level, and I looked forward to talking with him every day -- not just because he has broad shoulders (although they didn�t hurt his case any), but because we had a lot of similar interests and got along well. I have his phone number, and I could call him, but�I don�t know if that�s prudent. Frankly, the window of time in which it would be acceptable for me to call is closing pretty swiftly. If I wait another couple weeks, it�ll seem weird and stilted if I finally dial him up. Not that it won�t seem weird and stilted even if I called him today, but at least it would be understandable, or even appropriate, to do so now.
So I have that decision to make, and I need to factor in all the pros and cons of whether or not I�m ready to take on the Old Drama in my personal life, as opposed to just my professional life (so to speak), and whether I think I can be a grown-up and rise above my own issues. What I really need is for time to stand still for a while so I can mull things over for a month or two and decide which would be the more comfortable choice. Time and I are never on the same page when it comes to getting ready, it seems.
In the meantime, I�m beginning to worry that CR and May Day will not be the only two heading to the occupational chopping block. With my campaigns all winding down, and Sophie beginning to appear less and less interested in me, and more and more interested in New Girl (who may not stay through the month, of her own volition -- although if Sophie can�t see fit to let the rest of the office know about CR�s departure, I see absolutely no reason why I ought to feel at all guilty about keeping this confidence), I�m starting to get that uneasy feeling that my days are numbered (estimated number: low).
Oh well. Here�s to better jobs for everyone.
Someone Got Here By Searching For: they had to pee so bad but he bathrooms were out of order And: I�m going to explode I have to pee [Seriously.] I�m Watching: Karen Sisco and do you know? It isn�t half bad. I�m Craving: Pastry. I want �clairs. And ice cream. And a pie.