I believe I mentioned my new, healthy diet, right? The whole point of this change in my (admittedly pretty atrocious) eating habits was to improve my quality of life, capitalize on the best my genetic makeup has to offer, and camouflage the worst of the same. And granted that I have noticed some distinct changes to my physique for the better, but the most significant difference I�ve recognized is that, while my body�s fat percentage has dropped and my energy level has increased, my sweet tooth has exploded like the Big Bang into an entire universe of illicit desire.
I�ve always had a sweet tooth, which may be the byproduct of my hypoglycemia; perhaps my body has some inherent drive to rectify its natural sugar imbalances, and doesn�t recognize that sucrose and glucose are not the most optimal routes by which to achieve equilibrium. Or maybe I�m just a big pig. Either way, chocolate is my Waterloo, and shows like Unwrapped on the Food Network are my porn.
In any case, since attempting to forswear sugar in favor of more health-conscious foods (like fat!), I have not been able to shake that monkey from my back. I�ve switched to diet sodas, which was a very painful exchange to make, and I�ve started putting �artificial sweetener� in my coffee as well. By the by, I�ve noticed that since giving up sweets, my coffee intake has more than tripled. Maybe I need the energy rush provided by the caffeine to replace the energy rush I used to obtain via sugar, or maybe the aspartame is sweet enough to trick my brain into thinking I�ve had dessert, and so my synapses can finally shut the fuck up about that bowl of candy corn in the conference room.
No matter the reason, even swilling back a dangerously high level of caffeinated and artificially sweetened beverages every single day has done nothing to abate my acute craving for the sweet, white granules of heaven. Every day, I desire something specific, and although I�m generally able to avoid caving in to my unreasonable demands (�I am not eating an entire mint chocolate chip ice cream cake all alone, so just shut it right now, self!�), I find that I am slowly but surely backsliding into old habits of snacking on candy-esque junk food.
Part of this can be attributed to Halloween being right around the corner, and candy is now, like, 5� a pound. Part of this can also be chalked up to the fact that my freelance gig is chock full of people buying chocolatey goodness to pass around. Once my assignment has ended, and October is long gone, things will settle down a bit in terms of my daily sugar intake, but in the meantime, I�ve been gnashing my teeth and burning inside every time I see the bowl of chocolate-covered almonds (one of my signature weaknesses -- I should just be grateful they weren�t peanuts, or I�d have killed everyone in the room to get at them if I had to).
I have mostly staved off my pathological need to scarf down cookies, cakes, ice cream, pies, candy bars, donuts, shakes, pastries, and chocolates, but more and more I�ve been �treating� myself, and more and more I�m noticing that it�s hard to say no when I should. Either I need to learn some better self-restraint, or someone needs to develop delicious, sugar-free, and totally health-conscious desserts.
Unfortunately, both options sound like science fiction to me.
Someone Got Here By Searching For: �fuck the sopranos� And: picture of a cranky wrinkled old woman I�m Watching: Unwrapped. If they don�t stop talking about tiramisu, I will not be held responsible for my actions. I�m Craving: A crispy, chocolate-chip cannoli, drizzled with a sauce of bittersweet chocolate and amaretto, topped with sweet cream and a maraschino cherry. And a mint leaf for garnish, of course.