A few very random things are on my mind at the moment, and I thought I�d take this opportunity to explore them, shallowly.
To begin with, my knickers are in a considerable twist over last night�s idiotic episode of American Idol. I mean, no one got tossed last night! At all! We sat through an hour of filler and rigged questions from the audience and lame, white-bread sing-alongs, and all for what? So we could see Kimberley Locke, Trenyce (who needs a last name), and the Dread Carmen Rasmusen trot out to the center�and then trot back again? Oh, but only after Trenyce and the Dread Carmen sang again. Heaven forbid we should go an entire hour without these kids throwing themselves at the tender mercies of record execs everywhere. And speaking of that, how did those ladies end up in the bottom three, anyway? I mean, I won�t pretend to be a big fan of the Dread Carmen, and in fact it pains me to admit this, but she wasn�t one of the worst performers on Tuesday. At least that whole bit about the �syncopated rhythm and the scratch, scratch, scratch� was fun to watch, you know? As opposed to�certain other contestants, who blew like a wind tunnel. Oh well.
The office is out of cups. Again. I don�t understand how we managed to go through 100 cups in the space of two weeks! I re-use my cup, thank you very much, because it�s so wasteful to just use a different cup every single time you go back to the cooler. Oh, and we�re also almost out of water, which I will have to order more of. Along with paper, because we�re almost out of paper. Thank goodness for Staples! I�m serious, you can get anything you could possibly want from Staples. I�m just flipping pages in the catalog here, but so far I could buy a DVD player, a plunger, cough drops, and a suitcase, all in one order. You can�t beat that for convenience! If they could add a Chinese food section, I�d be in heaven.
I�m a little more irritated by the lack of cups than I�m letting on, actually. I really want some hot chocolate, but if I make it in my drinking cup, it means I can�t have water for the rest of the day, because it�ll be all hot chocolatey! I guess life could be worse.
Oh, and something else I have to do today? Register for jury duty. Why me?? I can�t afford to serve jury duty! Well, it might not be so bad. May Day and I had a brief conversation about it:
Me: You know, I�ve always wanted to be on a jury, so I could jump up and yell, �GUILTY!� You know? But not now! I can�t afford it now!May Day: Look on the bright side -- you�re in L.A., so there�s a chance it could be a high-profile celebrity trial! Like, maybe Robert Downey, Jr. got busted again!
Me: Ooh! Maybe it�s Robert Blake�s murder trial!
May Day: I bet that�s it.
Me: Well, what else could it be?
May Day: Nothing. That�s totally it. You�re going to be on the jury for Robert Blake�s murder trial! You�ll have to tell me all about it, of course.
Me: Well, I�m totally going to call you from the bathroom and shit during recesses.
May Day: Awesome. And you know, there might be celebrities on the jury, too! They have to serve jury duty just like everyone else.
Me: You mean like�like Ryan Phillippe?
May Day: Definitely. Totally Ryan Phillippe.
Me: �ohmygaw�
May Day: You guys could make out!
Me: Oh shit, what�ll I wear? Should I get a haircut?
May Day: And then you�ll be sequestered in that motel together�
Me: Oh shit! I can�t believe I�m going to be on the jury for Robert Blake�s murder trial with Ryan Phillippe!
May Day: Poor Reese.
Me: I know. I feel bad about wrecking her marriage, but you just can�t get in the way of the pure, pure love Ryan and I have for each other.
May Day: And to think it all started with a jury summons!
Me: Don�t worry�someday you�ll get a jury summons too, and then you and David Duchovny can be together forever.
May Day: Ohmygaw, we�re going to have the best stories to tell Oprah when she has us on the show!
Me: Ohmygaw, we�re going to be on Oprah???
May Day: Yay!
So I guess I�m not too upset about it. I�ll let you guys know the details as they unfold, of course.Oh, sweet crunchy fuck. They�re playing this damn Dana Glover song on the radio now. This was Jackass�s favorite song. Not that I�m still bothered by that whole ordeal, but the song now makes my eyes roll like a rack of billiards. Blow it out your ass, Dana.
Ooh! And now they�re playing �Total Eclipse of the Heart�! Hooray!
