� Memoirs of an Evil Genius �
Conquering the World, One Martini at a Time

� Another One Bites the Dust �
11:08 a.m., 2004-05-04

So. Yesterday we had our regular monthly staff meeting here at Arts-Friendly, which, as you may have guessed by the name, is something that happens pretty routinely. It was at this staff meeting that we learned of another event that seems to be happening pretty routinely around here as well: shitcanning.

Yes, ladies and gents, the world of Arts-Friendly condensed just a little more yesterday afternoon when Sophie "let someone go". Again, I�d just like to take this little moment to protest the idiocy of that phrase, "letting someone go". Like having a job is really holding them back, or something. "Sorry about the steady employment, Bob. We�ll try to do something about it in the near future. Hey, if it was up to me, I�d let you go in a heartbeat!" That�s why I prefer the less eloquent, but more honest �shitcanning�.

This time the lucky job prisoner to receive clemency from a kind and merciful employer was Minnie, the HR Director (and the fry thief, I feel I can now safely reveal). I was quite surprised by the suddenness of it, although I knew that Sophie never really cared for Minnie, who was a bit�weird. Not weird like Elaine was weird (thank heaven), but still pretty damn weird. Sophie basically announced that, for the first time in as long as she�s been with the company (which is a long time), she had to lay somebody off, and that somebody was Minnie. This segued into a lecture on efficiency and so forth, in which she heavily implied that we were all under the gun, and that if we didn�t do our part to keep the company�s coffers filled, she couldn�t promise there�d be enough cash to hold onto any of us.

Corinne began to ask a question regarding who would be taking over Minnie�s responsibilities, but she paused in juuuust the right spot for Sophie to misinterpret the question and answer prematurely with, "The position isn�t be re-filled." Oh. Well, okay then. Let me see if I�ve got this straight: since the first of the year, we�ve lost three employees (four, if you count The New New Girl), and haven�t replaced any of them. It would now appear Sophie seems fairly confidant that "we" can get by just fine without the "extra" help. She�s making no plans to compensate for their absences, save but to increase the pressure on the rest of us by holding our jobs above our heads like we�re a bunch of destitute peasants dancing for her royal pleasure.

I don�t want to sound like a sour persimmons, but that isn�t really boosting my morale. I�m already teetering on the precipice of job burnout as it is, and I know I�m not the only one. Everyone here feels pretty much the same way, because the company seems to be running this office like an irresponsible teenager with a moderately reliable car: the oil doesn�t get changed, the shocks aren�t replaced, the engine isn�t serviced, but the driver just keeps gunning that motor and pushing it to the limit, hoping to get as far as possible before the whole damn thing just breaks down altogether.

Anyway, it�s unsettling both that our responsibilities are multiplying like a bunch of horny tribbles and that our job security is now more than ever being called into question, but also because our "team" was just dealt another blow. I mean, I�m not so square as to buy into the saccharin pap that management by and large tries to stuff down its employees� throats about how we�re not a company!, we�re a team!, and we�ve all got the same! goals!, and we go together like rama-lama-lama-ka-ding-a-da-ding-a-dong! but when you suffer the same indignities shoulder-to-shoulder with someone for a year or so, you do bond. Admittedly, the "team" is bonded against management, rather than to it, but at least we�re of one accord on something.

And now we are one less strong.

Someone Got Here By Searching For: diaryland peanut butter spoon I�m Watching: Futurama, and I weep for all unjustly cancelled shows everywhere! I�m Reading: I still haven�t quite made up my mind�should I read something Big and Scholarly, or short and flaky?

A Year Ago, I Said:

Or I�ll try to click on a specific point in the sentence to change a word I misspelled (I do that sometimes), but I can�t hit it! Like, I can usually get the cursor somewhere in the neighborhood of the word, but never actually in the place I need. It�s like trying to throw a dart at a pebble from 500 feet. This office sucks.
It Ain�t Fiction, Just a Natural Fact
5-2-2003

� 2005 by Dr. No, all rights reserved; you break it, you buy it.



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