� Memoirs of an Evil Genius �
Conquering the World, One Martini at a Time

� The Red Tape Diaries �
1:29 a.m., 2003-11-11

Okay, it�s one o�clock in the morning (where I am, anyway), so this is necessarily going to be a short entry. I would have blown it off all together, but I feel compelled to write, seeing as how I took what practically amounted to a two-week sabbatical, and I kind of missed the exercise.

In any case, I�ve mentioned a couple times how I deal with these asshole clients at my job, who have the most abysmal system of record-keeping ever known to man. Like it�s so hard to just put information in a computer file when you get it. Admittedly, it would be easier if everything came already neatly formatted in some sort of universal spreadsheet that you could just incorporate into your own software, but�well, trust me when I say this client of mine would somehow manage to fuck that all up as well.

The short version is that Client X finally admitted, after making me chase my tail for the last five weeks on what was obviously a fool�s errand (which I pointed out as passively, assertively, and eventually aggressively as possible, every chance I could), that they had not been inputting all the data we�ve been sending them SINCE APRIL FIRST, and my latest assignment is to go back and reconcile all discrepancies. Yes, they fucked their records up on a galactic scale, and now I have to clean up the mess. Fun!

I�m ready now, Death; come for me.

But seriously, it makes me really not want to get up tomorrow morning and walk all the way to work. Because, as you know, my car�s still not working, because it�s still insured through my home state and the insurance company that my insurance company went through in order to get my car evaluated never sent my representative a copy of the report, leading her to conclude that the evaluation was never done (which is aneurysmically ridiculous when you consider that I was speaking to her on the phone while the adjustor was filling out the forms, and told her so in plain English), and so they never generated the proper paperwork to guarantee I would get my repairs compensated. Again, fun!

Oy. Just thinking about it exhausts me.

Incidentally, on a completely different note, don�t go see The Matrix: Revolutions. It really, really blows. I mean, I�ve certainly seen worse films in my life, and a (small) part of me isn�t ticked off at having spent money and (considerable) time to watch this latest installment, but it really raised more questions than it answered, and did so in such a frustrating and, in my opinion, non-visually-spectacular way that it was ultimately just disappointing.

Lastly, I think I need to Lojack my glasses, because I keep putting them down and forgetting where they are. And then, of course, when I go to look for them, I CAN�T SEE ANYTHING.

Forget Lojack. Maybe I need therapy.

Someone Got Here By Searching For: �your signature scent� And: mtv taxi cab guy I�m Watching: Food Finds on the Food Network. Shut up, it�s brilliant. I�m Craving: A bran muffin. Weird.

� 2005 by Dr. No, all rights reserved; you break it, you buy it.



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