Does anybody else have trouble talking to other people on the phone for the first time? I don�t know about you guys, but I really suffer from some pretty severe performance anxiety when I have to call someone I�ve never spoken to on the phone before.

Like, even if it�s someone that I�ve seen at parties and get-togethers, and it�s someone that I�ve always gotten along with, and we�ve never been visited by The Silence (and you know The Silence to which I refer), I still get all worried. I mean, when you�re face to face, there are so many other distractions and stimuli in the immediate area! If you run out of things to say, there are ways to cover up for it; or, if you�re lucky, another person will come along and join you, lending another dimension to the conversation and taking some of the pressure off of you. Not so, over the phone.

To my credit, I've always had a knack for filling dead air with my uncanny ability to ramble on like a complete idiot. It�s not really a marketable skill, nor is it particularly prestigious, but I won�t pretend I haven�t used it to my advantage on numerous occasions. Don�t want Dad to ask about your report card? Don�t let him get a word in edgewise! Someone asks you something you don�t really want to answer? Waffle for a moment, draw a comparison, make an analogy, get �sidetracked�, change the subject three times in one sentence, go off on a tangent, and if they can even remember what the hell the two of you were talking about in the first place, maybe they deserve to know after all.

But seriously, I�ve gotten very good at fending off The Silence. It�s not so much that I�m afraid of silence, as much as it�s that I�m terrified of that moment in the silence when you both realize that this whole �talking� thing just isn�t working out. I hate that. It�s awkward and uncomfortable, and ultimately embarrassing. Fortunately, I have a tendency to ramble anyway (in case you hadn�t noticed), so prattling on in order to keep a conversation afloat is really just an extension of my natural proclivity to, well�prattle. Er, as evidenced by this entire entry.

In any case, once you�ve spoken to someone on the phone for that first, all-important conversation, and you�ve firmly established a phone protocol, everything�s fine. But going into that first communiqu�, I always get so nervous! Like, what if they�re all laconic and non-committal? Nothing�s worse than a conversation like this one (which I actually had):

Me: So, anyway, she�s been working out there, and because I sort of accidentally drove the car off the road and into a ditch, which I should point out was totally not my fault because there was an icy patch, I�ve been driving this other car that my brother had been driving, and he�s driving my Mom�s car, and so she doesn�t have a ride, and needs me to come get her.

Friend X: Oh.

So, what am I trying to say? Although I ramble naturally, and seldom find myself at a loss for words (words that mean something, yes, but plain old words? Not really), I still get freaked out the first time I speak to someone on the phone. You just never know. You know?

Someone Got Here By Searching For: �eye grew back� And: Paris Hilton, leaving car I�m Watching: 24, and seriously. Who the hell gave Kim a job at CTU? I was fine with her being a feisty, high-school dropout nanny last season, but an IT wiz kid working for a top-level government anti-terrorist law enforcement organization? Please. I�m Craving: A Ben&Jerry�s Phish Food ice cream bar.

my last adventure: The Red Tape Diaries
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