I miss Annabelle, y�all. I mean, sure, she was drunk a lot, and she smelled like pickled garlic (undoubtedly to stifle the cloying scent of Jim Beam leaking through her skin), and she made me uncomfortable with her disposition toward inappropriate touching, but at least she was refreshingly uncomplicated.
I recall the time she asked me really personal questions, and assured me she would keep my confidence. �You can tell me anything, Dr. No,� she promised. �Because I don�t gossip or anything. Not like these bitches.� And, okay, so she couldn�t spell my name to save her life, but at least she didn�t cop an attitude with me like some salespeople I could mention. Plus which, she was going to hook me up with a model. Damn it.
She also never came to work with fucking Pinkeye, either. Pink eyes, maybe, from the drinking, but not actual, contagious Pinkeye. Why bring that up? Funny you should ask.
Hey, guess who has conjunctivitis, but comes to work every day anyway! Just guess! I�ll give you a hint: I hate her. Okay, that doesn�t really narrow it down, does it? It�s Dolly. Are you surprised? Because if you are, you haven�t been reading this journal for very long. Basically, she�s been coming in for the last few days with nasty, contagious conjunctivitis, rubbing her nasty, contagious conjunctivitis fingers all over everything and asking me to touch stuff and lick things and rub them on my face or what have you. For revenge, I�m going to go take a crap in her car. That�ll teach her!
Okay, I�m just kidding about that. But, hey, speaking of crap, who saw last night�s American Idol? I have to say that I�m actually pretty worried right now. Josh is far and away the weakest link in the remaining group (as he has been for the last two weeks), but that obviously means nothing anymore. He didn�t screw up as badly last night as he has in the past, which is somewhat distressing. He was getting more deserving singers axed when he was just plain awful, and the last thing we need is for him to suddenly turn into a mediocre performer at the 11th hour, effectively screwing the other contestants, who actually belong there.
I suppose if Kimberley Locke goes this week, I�ll be upset, but not homicidal. I think she already qualifies for the top three (certainly over Josh), but I�m not pulling for her to win. I like her voice well enough, but she�s been consistent with her flaws from week to week, she effects a couple strange vocal tics that bother me, and her attitude has bugged me in the past. Still, I�d take that over Josh�s smugness any day of the week. However, if either Ruben or Clay get the boot tonight, I�m going to wash my hands of this show. Period.
Oh, I just had an exciting call from some jackhole who had questions about the public cruises. So that�s not our bailiwick, and he should talk to the Reservations line about it. But he didn�t want to talk to Reservations. He wanted -- no, make that �demanded� -- that I pull Joanie out of a sales meeting so he could ask her some imbecilic questions that could just as easily be answered by the people whose actual job it is to know that information. But try explaining that to his sorry ass!
Oh, and the best part was when he was like, �Well, can you go get her for me?� I think I actually snorted out loud at that, like, �Sure thing, Mr. Undersecretary. Would you like a blow job with that, too?� I quickly bullshitted some story about how she was in the back in a conference room with the door closed, talking to her superiors. He was all, �Oh? Because I can hear a lot of voices in the background.� And I�m like, �Yeah, that�s because we have other clients, you fuckhead.�
Okay, so it was Joanie in the sales meeting, but I wasn�t about to waste her time with this dickweed. If he wanted to talk to someone right away, he could have spoken to the Reservations line like he was supposed to. But he wanted to be difficult and act entitled, so he gets to sit and wait while I write out notes for Joanie that say things like:
Rude, pushy bastard who thinks he�s above speaking to the reservations line, and demanded that I haul you out of your meeting so he could ask a couple stupid-ass questions about the public cruise this Sunday. Get back to him at your convenience. Or don�t. Teach this buttpipe a lesson.
That�s the kind of power I wield around here. It�s not much, but I�m going to do everything I can to make it work to my advantage. Or, more accurately, his disadvantage.I�m such a stinker.
