It�s another one of those days, my friends. By �those days�, I am referring to the days when you can�t seem to get a leg up, because each time you lift it, another cement mixer backs up in front of you and disgorges a quick-drying suspension of electronic requests and files riddled with loose ends. By �another�, I am referring to the fact that this week has been filled to the bursting with them. By �one�, I am referring to the 24-hour period between one midnight and the next, which we earthlings rather arbitrarily designated as a single �day�. Although it often feels as if I must be some kind of meditative guru who has transcended the bounds of this "natural" "reality", and am currently existing on several planes of existence simultaneously, and am thereby experiencing more than one day�s worth of bullshit at a time. I know. When you think of the words �meditative�, guru� and �transcendent�, I�m the first person who springs to mind.
Tony in Data Entry is about to have a baby, you guys. In a rather ironic turn of events, his wife is due on the same day that Anna is supposed to take her long-overdue leave of our company (although I�m sure we�ll see her in Hell, thanks to all the lying we do: "Gee, Anna, it was great to work with you!" "We hope everything goes well at your new job!" "We�ll miss you!"). Anyway, I bring this up for two reasons. One is that I�m eagerly not anticipating what I just know is going to be a three-ring circus (and by �ring�, I mean that movie where the creepy little girl comes crawling out of the TV and gives me nightmares) of confusion, crossed-wires, dropped balls, and (say it with me, now) backed-up paperwork. The number two reason is that babies make me start thinking I should maybe be a little more charitable in my attitude towards people like Anna.
I mean, babies kind of represent the promise of the future, right? They�re the human equivalent of a blank canvas (except for all that pesky DNA and those nature vs. nurture things that everyone talks about, like no matter what you do, you�re automatically screwed because you�re genetically programmed to chew with your mouth open and bray like a donkey choking on a vocoder when you laugh), and it makes you all warm and fuzzy about the future, and you start thinking maybe this world isn�t such a bad place after all. And that�s when they GET YOU.
Obviously, I need to work on this positive outlook thing a little more. But that�s okay -- I�m only just starting out. Probably I won�t hate the new person they replace Anna with until after a couple weeks or something. I already don�t hate Sally as much as I used to, although that�s admittedly in large part because when they came out here, that whole group of us all got together with beer and vodka and talked shit about everybody else at the company, which always makes for solid camaraderie. Nothing quite like drunks talking smack to reinforce positive relations! All together, now, let�s sing We Are the World! Or not. Actually, if we were all drunk, that might be more fun.
Us: Weee are the whirlll�we are the shildrunnn�we�re are the ones hoomama kite today, soleil moon fryyyye�
I don�t mean to sound judgmental or anything, but you guys are off-key.Anyway, today is Friday, which means that the weekend begins tomorrow. If I can just claw my way out of this shallow grave in which I�ve been buried under pile of paperwork and apathy, I�m sure I�ll get to enjoying it. You go on ahead without me, though. I�ll be fine. I promise.
Someone Got Here By Searching For: Where Can I Get a Pair of Lisa Loeb-Lenses I�m Watching: Futurama. In fact, I woke up special just for the occasion. I�m Eating: M&M�s, but only because they�re here.