I�m afraid my life revolves entirely too much around TV. I know that statement is based on the completely nonsensical notion that such a thing as being too involved in your TV holds any validity, but earlier this evening, when May Day and I were choking down a greasy dinner and chucking money onto the counter without even hassling the waitress over a charge for a side order that never made it to the table, so we could power walk home and catch the beginning of The Amazing Race, I started to wonder. Is there such a thing as �too much TV�?
Then I thought, �Hell no.�
I love my TV, and I don�t think it lowers my IQ to watch it. Certainly there are shows which ought to be avoided by anyone with taste or who values their dignity, but even discriminating viewers can enjoy a little trash now and then, and reap certain very valuable benefits from it! Take, for example, TAR.
While I realize on the face of it, it�s just another reality show, it�s really so much more than that. In actuality, it�s kind of like a social experiment. Take a bunch of people in various sorts of relationships, and see how they react both under extreme stress, and in competition. Neither condition is conducive to any kind of relationship, and it�s fascinating to see which couples are able to adapt, and know and respect each other well enough to work together for a common goal. Conversely, it�s also fascinating to see who will fall apart, and why.
Tonight�s episode was a non-elimination round, which is actually pretty cool. I mean, I feel a little ripped off, but I�m starting to get attached to the remaining players (except for, you know, Millie), and I didn�t want to see any of them go (except Millie). As the race wears on, the legs seem to get more and more demanding -- certainly, this particular leg relied the most heavily on physical endurance, what with all the running and the target shooting and the dragging and/or catching of fish. Some of the teams seem to be flourishing under these conditions (Reichen and Chip), and some seem to be deteriorating almost exponentially (Kelly and Jon seem about ready to self-destruct).
And, because I love to talk about her, there�s Millie. I have to admit that she annoyed me far less this time around, but for very specific reasons. Although her I Know What�s Best And You Should Just Shut Up And Do As I Say, Chuck attitude really sets my teeth on edge, I noticed -- albeit grudgingly -- that she was much more supportive this go-round. Even though she couldn�t stop backseat-driving long enough to let Chuck concentrate on the Roadblock (which involved firing arrows, blow-darts, and spears at some relatively small targets), the really annoying and distracting things she kept yelling at him were essentially positive. At least she wasn�t saying, �C�mon Chuckie! Hustle!� Because that shit was about to have me jumping through the screen.
At the end of the day, though, it was Kelly and Jon who came in last. I can�t seem to figure these two out, because just when I think I love them, I hate them. And just when I think I hate them, I love them. Tonight, Jon was insensitive and pig-headed, and Kelly was shrill and irrational. Then, in the last five minutes, Kelly wiped the floor with almost all the men who came before her at the target shooting, and showed her sense of screwball humor by making the Malaysian greeter give her a high five (well, ten), which was really pretty hilarious. Next week, however, looks particularly dark for these two, and I don�t see them lucking out again with a second non-elimination round.
Where was I going with this? TV rocks. If you don�t believe me, turn it on sometime. And then flip channels for a half an hour like the rest of us until you give up and watch a movie.
Oh, subborn and greedy my ass! They should�ve just invited me to that damn party! Like their guest list was so fucking exclusive, anyway.
