� Memoirs of an Evil Genius �
Conquering the World, One Martini at a Time

� For Your Listening Enjoyment �
2:22 p.m., 2003-05-09

Okay. I�m writing this entry a bit later in the day than usual, but I�ve got a good excuse, which I shall detail below.

Basically, thanks to a friend (who may collect her mad props from me in the form of a drink of alcoholic origin next time we hang out), I recently received a good opportunity. It�s nothing huge, but it would be a chance to get a break from the drudging monotony of Titanic Cruises and do something at least peripheral to the kind of job I eventually hope to have someday. Anyway, if I do get it, it will necessarily mean fewer entries for a while, and I feel I ought to let y�all know in advance.

And y�all are like, �Yeah, because my life really hinges on this shit. Thanks, Dumbo.� And then I�m like, �Hey! I didn�t have to tell you jack, you meanie!� And now we�re not even speaking anymore, so what do I care?

Although, to be honest, I don�t know if I�m going to get it. I�m not trying to be down on myself, or anything. I just think they�re probably looking for someone with a little more experience in the field than I have (read: any). And I�m a pretty shrewd judge of people/situations -- maybe it�s a Pisces thing? I don�t know how much stock you guys put in that sort of stuff (hell, I don�t know how much stock I put in that sort of thing), but allegedly, pisceans make snap character judgments, and are rarely if ever incorrect. I don�t mean to boast about my potential future as an FBI profiler, or anything, but I almost never change my opinion of someone after I�ve met them, and quite frequently hear people saying things to me like, �You know, you were right all along about X. He�s a total freak.� And with a name like X, how could he not be?

Anyway, my point was that I got the impression they liked me a lot, but that they may be looking for someone more experienced. Still, it was a great opportunity and I�m extremely grateful.

And now, I�m going to spend the rest of my entry taking Lauren�s advice and embracing my embarrassing musical proclivities. What follows, in no particular order, is a list of my top twelve indispensable albums (one for each of the American Idol finalists). Now, keep in mind these are my personal picks. I know they aren�t all gems of musical creativity, and that many of these artists have more critically acclaimed fare, but for whatever reason, these are the twelve I can�t live without:

1. Blondie -- Autoamerican.
Maybe not their best, maybe not even their most adventurous, but certainly one of their most fun. Tracks like �Here�s Looking At You�, �Rapture�, �The Tide is High�, and �Do the Dark� make this album indispensable.

2. Paul Simon -- Graceland.

Not only is this a brilliant musical achievement, but it�s a big heaping slice of my childhood. I listen to tracks like �You Can Call Me Al�, �I Know What I Know�, or �Graceland�, and I�m thirteen again. Not that I�d ever want to be thirteen again even for a second, but it takes me back.

3. Sheryl Crow -- Sheryl Crow.

Yeah, okay, I know a lot of you guys don�t like her, but I don�t care. I�m kind of middling on her other offerings, but I�m stone crazy about her sophomore effort. �Maybe Angels�, �A Change�, and �Sweet Rosalyn� are still some of my favorite songs to this day.

4. No Doubt -- Tragic Kingdom.

At one time or another, about 90% of the tracks on this album were my theme song.

5. Aimee Mann -- Bachelor No. 2, or the last remains of the dodo.

I�ve recently fallen head over heels for her latest album, Lost in Space, but this one is still at the top of my list. Listen to �Red Vines�. If you don�t love it, don�t tell me, because I�ll have to say mean things about you behind your back.

6. The Mamas and the Papas -- If You Can Believe Your Eyes and Ears.

Their debut album rocks. �California Dreamin��, �Monday, Monday�, �Somebody Groovy�, �The In Crowd�, are some of the best, but there�s only one song on this album I don�t absolutely love.

7. Liz Phair --- whitechocolatespaceegg.

One of the few albums where I like every single track. My faves include �Polyester Bride�, �Headache�, and �Ride�.

8. The Beatles -- Help!

Really, do I need to say anything here?

9. Garbage -- Version 2.0.

So it�s technically not as groundbreaking or whatever as their first album, but I like it. I think because of when I got it and what was going on in my life at the time.

10. Sarah McLachlan -- Surfacing.

I�ve learned people fall into one of two camps; there�s the Tori camp, and the Sarah camp. I�m a Sarah camper, myself. Not that there�s anything wrong with Tori. I just�don�t like her music. Sorry. Oh, and shut up.

11. Rufus Wainwright -- Poses

Some absolutely brilliant numbers on this one, especially his cover of �One Man Guy�, written by his father.

12. Mozart -- The Marriage of Figaro.

This may not be the best recording or whatever, but so help me, I love the music from this opera. Yes, I said it! I�ll say it again! I LIKE OPERA! Did I mention the gayness? Did I tell you to shut up about it yet? Yes, I like opera! Okay? Are you happy now?

Anyway, I like a lot of other stuff too. So�you know. Shut up.

Today�s Quiz: What Kind of Goth Are You?

Glitter Goth
Glitter Goth

What Kind of Goth Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Okay, listen, I hardly ever wear glitter. Ever. I swear.

Someone Got Here By Searching For: nipple ring sayings [Huh?] And: damn you and your trickery I�m Watching: This sweet-ass Murder, She Wrote movie tonight, if May Day will let me! Do You Think She�s Likely To? Hell no. Sigh.

� 2005 by Dr. No, all rights reserved; you break it, you buy it.



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