This updating thing has really become a lot more complicated over the course of the two and a half years this site has been up and running, I�ve come to recognize. Back in the early days, when I was slaving away at Titanic Cruises (I almost wrote �Titanic Curses�, which is both amusing and apt) I had nothing better to do, and when I was at Arts-Friendly, I needed it or I�d have gone crazy as a shithouse rat. But then responsibilities became more and more heavy and time to write became less and less easy to find. So now I�m updating about once a week and squeezing it in between other engagements when I can.
But please do not assume this means I have any dearth of things to talk about.
Let me start with last Saturday afternoon, when I opened my mail to discover a subpoena. Now, longtime readers may recall by brief affair with jury duty, but this is another thing entirely. Plus which, I never ended up having to serve jury duty. This thing spelled out very clearly, though, that I was to appear as a witness at a preliminary hearing last Thursday (the 26th) in the case of The State of California vs. these people. Of course, it didn�t say anything else on there that I might have liked to know. For instance: For whom am I a witness? (I assume the prosecution.) What is the charge? (I assume manslaughter�this was not a civil suit.) Most importantly, do I get paid, and is someone going to try and rub me out to shut me up? (Hopefully? Yes and no, respectively.)
Right away I had these grand visions of myself, the star witness for the prosecution, storming into the courtroom all Alexis Carrington Colby in my black suit and enormous sunglasses (and probably, like, a cape or some shit), and making a big, dramatic production on the witness stand�the witness stand, people!�and being all up in our country�s legal system. Then I also had visions of getting grilled by a merciless Defense Attorney, determined to publicly humiliate me and call my character and every word into question, and leave me debased and pitiful. And, considering that my original statement and conjectured testimony amount to, �Black car and red car go boom,� I had uneasy feelings of how well I would fare in that arrangement. Plus, I don�t own a black suit.
Anyway, all of my wonderings proved to be slightly vain when the officer of the court (or maybe he was just an officer, I don�t know) called me at SIX IN THE MORNING on Tuesday to tell me that the trial date has been pushed into the undisclosed future. I met this news with, as you might expect, a mixture of relief and chagrin. I won�t have my picture in the paper now, but at least I won�t have to buy a black suit! Well, not right away.
The excitement doesn�t stop there. On the way to a birthday party on Saturday night, Clyde and I ducked into an art gallery for to enjoy free food and beverage they were providing in honor of the show that was opening there that night. After lying about my name to the guy at the door, I ended up getting accidentally locked in the bathroom during the �thanks for coming out� speech, like bad date redux, and there were, like, a million candles burning in there, so it was only about three hundred degrees, and I tried to get out through the window, but there were crossbars on it, and when I moved the candles to open it I spilled hot wax all over my hand. I mean, finally it opened, but it was really a bad scene, is all I�m saying, and we had to make a hasty exit.
And then on Monday I got a phone call from a friend, which plunged me headlong into Relationship Crisis. I�m not ready to go into all the messy details here, but let�s say there was Bad News, and then there was some good news that some of the bad news wasn�t accurate, and then some more bad news that some of the Bad News was accurate, and there was crying and recrimination, but there�s also a lot of �gray area� nonsense, and there hasn�t been an actual break-up, but things are rocky and I�m going to keep them rocky until I have a little more perspective on things, because, frankly? I�ve earned the right.
Anyway, adding to the general chagrin is the memory that one year ago at this time I was in Switzerland, and now I�m in...I don�t know, limbo or whatever. Anyway, that�s what�s going on. I promise to try and update more faithfully in the future!
Someone Got Here By Searching For: Okay, this is bizarre, but someone got to my site for searching for images of �ladies having sex�. It brought them here. I�m Watching: Passions. I�m glad the regular television season is ending, if only because I don�t have time for it anymore. I�m Reading: Trace, by Patricia Cornwell. Still. It�s good, but...still.