Because I am such a friendly sort, when I got to work this morning, the first thing I did was to ask Cute Receptionist about his date. Evidently, it went quite well. I will confess that despite my having moved on, I was still a little disappointed to find that they had enjoyed their evening. However, those feelings were not brought on by the desire that it had been me he was out with last evening, but rather because I�m a bit of a vindictive little shit, I�m sick of his manipulative crap, and I was hoping karma might burn him in the ass by giving him a really bad date.
Karma and I really need to have a talk one of these days, because Cute Receptionist was high as a cloud all morning about this stupid, really good date he had. Whatever. He�s probably lying to himself. Yeah, that�s it. Go ahead, CR, hide your pain. I can wait.
Oh, but here�s the worst part! Like, I ask him about his date, and he�s all smiley and glowy (that bastard) and goes, �It was great, he�s amazing!� And I�m all genuinely like, �Great! That�s really cool.� And then he gives me this weird look, and for the rest of the day, he wouldn�t make eye contact with me! And then I started noticing that he wouldn�t really talk to me, either. Like, he would say stuff, but it was all forced small-talk. And that�s when it hit me.
Dude�he thinks I�m still totally crushing on him. And I would be fine with that, because I certainly do find him very attractive, and I�ve certainly been flirting with him, but I flirt with everybody! It�s been three weeks since the last time I entertained any serious, if ill-advised, notions about becoming romantically entangled with his fucked-up ass, and six weeks since the last time I actually thought such an arrangement might actually be at all beneficial to my psyche. Six full weeks since the last time I looked at him and thought we might be compatible, and three since I last looked at him and thought, �Screw compatibility -- he�s hot!�, and now that he�s �seeing� someone (for, like, a date), he�s treating me like I�m some recently released mental patient who spent six months in a psych ward for stalking him and boiling his pet rabbit or whatever!
Lest you think that this is all sour grapes, I assure you it�s not. I�m glad he�s got someone, truly, because he really is all wrong for me, and I�d like to have all the blockades between us as possible, should I ever slip back into �Screw compatibility -- he�s hot!� mode again. But he�s acting like he feels sorry me, because, you know, I�ve just LOST MY LAST CHANCE TO BE WITH HIM, and he doesn�t want to give me false hope and send me back to fucking Bellevue for another six months when the anguish of knowing I can�t have him causes me to snap again.
So I put it to you, dear reader: how is one supposed to respond to that shit? It drives me a little nuts to know that his ego is so bloated that it got in the way of his noticing that I haven�t initiated a single flirtatious interlude in three weeks time, or that my life is not presently in a shambles thanks to his positive dating experience of last night -- but if I do anything overt to point this out, I�m going to look like He Who Doth Protest Too Much, and that would really drive me crazy! And so I just decided to play it cool, but that meant I spent the whole day watching him avoid me, avert his eyes from me, or pity-laugh at everything I said, and I assure you my mental health is no the better for it.
Damn, boys are stupid.
Someone Got Here By Searching For: �You miserable fuck!� And: durr piece of shit crap I�m Watching: Actually, regarding the season premiere of Angel�why does Angel look like Joey Buttafuoco? I�m Making: Chocolate mousse. We were supposed to have a potluck at work tomorrow, but it got cancelled, and I�m bringing mousse anyway, so I don�t eat it all.