Ugh. I have no idea what I�m going to write about, because I haven�t even had a moment to myself to just sit down and even consider what�s going on in my life, but I feel the dire need to update my diary again, so I�m just going to type and we�ll post whatever comes out. That could be dangerous, but it�s not like it�s unprecedented, you know?
Anyway, the big news is that a) I did finally get a haircut, and b) I did finally get a new job. Woohoo! I mean, woohoo for both. The haircut was so, so necessary. I hated having my hair in my eyes all the time, and as it turns out, it�s actually quite wavy when left to it�s own devices, which is annoying as well because it really liked to wave itself directly into my damn corneas at every possible opportunity. I shouldn�t bitch too much, though, because really I�m just glad to still have my hair. Here�s to hoping it won�t all come falling out someday soon.
I also got a new job, and I have to say I�m quite happy about it. It came out of nowhere, too! One day I�m all unemployed and sitting around, like, �La la la, I guess I�ll watch some TV. Or not! I get to decide, because I�m unemployed!� and then all of a sudden, I�m getting a phone call from someone saying that someone I�ve never heard of who worked on Competition-Based Reality Show recommended me for a new job, and then BAM! I�m employed again. Very nice, that, since I�ve grown attached to the whole �eating and paying rent� parts of life in recent months.
I�m still lacking for clarity, though. Can I ask you guys a question? This is all TMI, so if you don�t like sex, avoid this paragraph. Anyway, do you all consider blow jobs to be sex? See, I do, what with the whole �oral SEX� term and all, and what with the Supreme Court deciding that, well, yeah, when you�re stimulating someone�s SEXual organs, it sort of counts as SEXual activity, but I�ve learned that some people like to split hairs on that matter. Not all people, maybe, but specifically boyfriendly type people. I�m not naming names, but I think you know who I mean.
I�m not being judgmental or anything about it, I swear. It�s just that proclaiming various intimate activities to be Not Sex just smacks of trying to sidestep accountability, and that�s something that really, really gets on my nerves. I�m sorry, but if you�ve got your mouth on someone�s naughty bits, and you�re working your way towards someone rolling their eyes back in their head, that is sex. Whitewash it all you want, but a rock is a rock is a rock, you know? A rose by any other name is still rolling its eyes back in its head. It�s not like I�m even saying that rose is obviously a whore, either, by any stretch, but the more it equivocates about what is sex and what isn�t, and how some things �don�t count� and could you define the meaning of �is� and �I did not have sexual relations with that woman,� the more I�m waiting for Ken Starr to come running out of the back bedroom with a search warrant, waving an off-the-rack jizz napkin from Nordstrom�s in my face and screaming emotional impeachment.
I apologize for that �jizz napkin� comment, that was pretty crass. I also apologize for the Monica Lewinsky jokes, because those are SO 1999.
Anyway, that�s what�s going on right now. It�s not the only thing, of course, but it�s what I�m thinking about. I�m also thinking about the fact that he�s having creepy dreams about me being decapitated, no joke, which I�m trying to take in stride as best I can and not get all Joan Fontaine about it, but still. There�s way too much �head� going around for my taste, you know? I�m writing this here so you guys will know what to do if something happens to me.
Anyway, this entry took something of a dark turn there at the end, but I�m not about to go back and muck with it. It�s the end of the day on a Thursday, and the fact that I�ve written anything at all calls for celebration. And thanks to my new job, I might even be able to afford that.
Someone Got Here By Searching For: caveman dragging cavewoman by hair I�m Watching: Lost. I still hate Sawyer, and I don�t see that changing in the foreseeable future. I�m Reading: Trace, by Patricia Cornwell, still, and I�m really getting kind of hooked on it.