Happy St. Patty�s Day, y�all! I�m sure you�ll be glad to know that I�m wearing green today, even though I don�t really have any concrete proof that any of my genetic material comes from Ireland. But that�s fine. I�m about as Irish as I am Catholic, and yet I�ve committed to the Lenten fast by giving up�um�something, I�m sure. Don�t rush me! I can do this! Um�
You know, you can�t really quantify human sacrifice, and who cares if I never picked any "one specific thing" to forego in the first place? I mean, I know there�s something I haven�t done since Lent began. So what if I can�t think of it right this very second!? WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME???
I�m sorry. I didn�t mean to snap at you guys, but all this personal sacrifice (not to mention Holiday stress) is really starting to get to me. St. Patrick�s Day is not for the faint of heart, you know? It takes a cast iron will to get a beverage consisting of about 40% green food coloring and just knock it back like you would any ordinary beer. And if green makes you look, like, sallow or whatever (it doesn�t do that to me, but that�s because I�m an autumn), this can be a particularly trying time of year.
Actually, I don�t know if I�m an autumn. I know precisely fuck-all about the whole color-wheel-by-season thing. I just know that autumns are supposed to look good in earth tones. Not that I�m saying I look like America�s Next Top Model in earth tones, or anything, because I�m not sure if I do, to be honest. I mean, I don�t look fugly in them, or anything, but I just don�t know if earth tones are really my chromatic oeuvre. I guess I can pull off a pair of brown pants all right (although I�d prefer it if Guy Pearce would pull them off for me. Thank you, New York! Tip your waitress!).
Let�s take just a minute out of our regularly scheduled programming to talk about last night�s television offerings, okay? See, it marked the first night of the American Idol finals, and I was only partially interested. I mean, some of those kids are pretty good, but I get tired of Simon�s predictable, contemptuous posturing. It seems like he�s only a popular public figure because he doesn�t mind insulting people to their faces, so he does it all the time now, whether it�s strictly warranted or not, just so he can get a quote in Entertainment Weekly. If Randy or Paula (bless her little heart) get a little too snappy with the put-downs themselves, Simon will immediately become that contestant�s champion, because he has to be contrary and/or "right" all the time about talent. Meh. It�s tired.
Although I did really like the way that, after about five showboating belters (all bearing Simon�s own stamp of approval) performed, Simon accused the entire group as a whole of "over-singing". Like, way to recognize the monster you created, Simon.
And lastly (though certainly not leastly), America�s Next Top Model boiled down to a rather nail-biting conclusion this week, I thought. I was so petrified that Yoanna would get the axe, so it came as quite a relief to us both when she was the first one passed on to the next round. I�ve been congratulating her on her victory all morning, and she�s been taking it in stride, just like a true Top Model should. I was shocked that April was the one who got her walking papers in the end, though, as the judges have always seemed to like her and to consider her as having more potential than Mercedes. Although it�s not like Shandi doesn�t have this thing in the bag. I mean, they�ve practically already got her name etched on that trophy (or typeset on that magazine layout -- whatever). Even with her meltdown and sullen, glassy stare, they still all jumped on the Shandwagon like every other week.
And okay, sure, she looked fine. But can she pull off earth tones?
Someone Got Here By Searching For: "build a giant robot" And: Caffeine intake on candy and sweet I�m Watching: Significant Others on Bravo. Two words: Sheer. Genius. I�m Reading: Sacred Clowns, still, but I�m more than a third of the way through.