Okay, know what I hate more than this shit? When it happens TWO DAYS IN A ROW! Like, seriously, you guys; Mars is gone! It�s okay to stop fucking with me now!
Was there a convention? I mean it, you guys, if you know something, you have to tell me. Did people get together at, like, The Mirage last weekend and decide how they were going to totally screw with my head? Because this can�t be a coincidence. I can�t believe that two clients, on opposite sides of the continent, could really be working in collaboration on how to drive me completely bonkers, but I see no other explanation!
I�m writing this portion of my entry as an open plea to anyone who works anywhere: PLEASE file your shit! When somebody sends you something? LOOK AT IT! When you send cranky emails about how something doesn�t make sense, and you receive an immediate response, do not ignore it, or assume that it�s just some knee-jerk reaction on my part, and that the �real� answer is still yet to come! Open the damn email, read it, absorb the information contained therein, enter it into whatever database is applicable, make copies, file the copies, file the original in a separate location, write yourself a note, show the document to at least two witnesses, give copies to the witnesses, and for fuck�s sake, don�t email me two, three months down the line, accusing me of not getting my work done! I have copies, and I�m not afraid to use them!!!
Seriously, my brain is squeezing out of my ears right now. I thought I�d suffered a stroke or something when I opened that file at FIVE O�CLOCK and a list of numbers hemorrhaged out of it. How could this be happening? It couldn�t! No way could two entirely separate groups of people be this fucking stupid, independently of each other! It can�t be something I�m doing, can it? I mean, am I calling these people in my sleep and saying shit like, �All those reports you get faxed every single fucking day? I�m only testing your fax machine! Those aren�t the real numbers! I�ll send you the actual data some other time! In fact, you should write down all the names and numbers in these reports and enter them into a separate file, and then email it to me in three months and ask me who they are and what�s going on! I love it when my clients don�t have a blessed clue what they�re doing!�
Another thing I�m evidently doing is telling all my clients to work on a system of checks and balances, only without the checking or the balancing. They seem to like to do everything in pairs, by which I mean that they assign two people to perform the same function, but neither one of them seems aware of what the other person is doing at any given time. It�s like, they can�t decide whom they want to hire, and so they hire both, but don�t tell either person, and then observe how each of them does the job for a while and later make a determination about who�s going to actually get it. Because every day I get email from two different people at the same company, each asking me the same questions and telling me the same information about each issue -- like, I wish they would communicate with each other as well as they communicate with me, because then we�d be golden.
FYI, I just finished the rest of that ice cream. Sweet fancy Moses, I need a weekend.
Someone Got Here By Searching For: coffee face genius And: coerced fucking I�m Watching: Well, CSI right now. And then Alias. Could You Believe it When Sydney Did the Thing With the Thing? No, but if she would show me how to that thing with the thing on a couple of my clients, I�d love her to tears.