Dude: You waitin� for the 20?Me: Uh�yup. The 20.
Dude: Y�know, the Express is faster, �cuz� it makes less stops.
Me: I would imagine that�s why they call it �the Express�.
Dude: Are you okay?
Me: Um�yes?
Dude:: I don�t believe you, but okay. What do you do?
Me: I�m an account rep--�I�m a scientist.
Dude: Whoa, that�s pretty cool! I�m from Illinois.
Me: Ah. Tricky state, Illinois. What with that silent �s� and all.
Dude: Ohmygosh�you know Illinois?
Me: �only by reputation.
Dude: Sorry, I didn�t get your name.
Me: Oh. I�m -- uh -- Bob.
Dude: Hi, Bob. I�m Jeremy.
Me: It�s nice to meet you.
Dude: Oh, you don�t have to apologize!
What?Me: Okay. Then I�m not sorry.Dude: HA HA HA!
* * *Me: I need you to do me a favor.
KillerWorkout: Oh. Okay. And, hi, by the way.
Me: Right. Hi. Are you near a computer?
KillerWorkout: As a matter of fact I am, why?
Me: I�m trying to get to my friend C�s birthday party, but I�m afraid I might be lost. I took the bus all the way out to where the online map told me, but I don�t see the bar. Or any bar, for that matter.
KillerWorkout: Where are you?
Me: I don�t know, let me read this sign�oh, crap.
KillerWorkout: What?
Me: I think it�s in Japanese. The bus took me to Japan!
KillerWorkout: That�s impressive. And people say Los Angeles has no decent public transportation.
Me: What am I going to do? I don�t speak Japanese!
KillerWorkout: Is that the favor you�re asking for? You want me to look up a Japanese-English dictionary?
Me: I need you to locate The Continental in Los Angeles on some kind of map site.
KillerWorkout: Okay�[typing]�got it. Where are you now?
Me: I�m just crossing Western Ave.
KillerWorkout: I don�t see that on the map.
Me: Crap.
KillerWorkout: Let me zoom out�nope. Let me zoom out again�hmm�well. Uh oh.
Me: What? What is it?
KillerWorkout: Well, there�s good news and bad news.
Me: Sigh. What�s the good news?
KillerWorkout: You can get some killer sushi out there in Japan.
* * *Me: �so then after the weird guy got off the bus, the driver talked to me for, like, half an hour. And she laughed at an old man.
Mom: How is it that you meet so many crazy-ass people?
Me: Just lucky, I guess.
Mom: Like that girl. Who was that girl, that friend of yours you used to work with?
Me: You mean Cracky?
Mom: That was her name?
Me: No, that�s just what I called her.
Mom: Well, she was nuts.
Me: Yeah, she was.
Mom: And that friend of yours from high school. I can�t remember her name, either.
Me: Scary Religious Girl?
Mom: She was really weird.
Me: I guess she had some issues.
Mom: No, she was weird. Like, psycho weird.
Me: Okay, yeah, she was weird.
Mom: And ugly as shit.
Me: Mom!
Mom: I�m sorry, but it�s true.
Me: Okay, so maybe she wasn�t classically�
Mom: Oh, please, honey. She was about the homeliest person I�ve ever set eyes on. It wouldn�t have been so bad, either, if she hadn�t been such a psycho. Kinda made me sad, a little.
Me: Me too, Mom. Me too.
Mom: So what are you up to today?
Me: I thought I�d go see Hidalgo, or, as I like to call it, Sandbiscuit.
Mom: Sounds like fun. I�m going to burn my manager in effigy.
Me: Oh, I did that last weekend.
Mom: Well, enjoy your day! I�ve got to go kill the cat.
Me: Have fun. I�ll send you a postcard from Okinawa.
Mom: What?
Me: Nothing. Bye!
Mom: Bye.
Someone Got Here By Searching For: sissies And: juggs of the day I�m Watching: Alias. Woohoo! And: Arrested Development, which is hysterical.