I fear that I am beginning to look much like the mad scientist I am always sort of pretending to be. Today, for example, my hair looks like it was styled by a family of angry beavers, I have enough bags under my left eye alone in which I could pack enough of my belongings to take an extended vacation to Siberia (Although, why would I want to?), and my accoutrements look like I bought them from the Unwashed Grad Student clothing line at K-Mart. After finishing a rather harrowing phone conference this morning, I stumbled into New New New Girl�s office like that sleepwalker from The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari and she asked when I was planning to become corrupted by my recent, ingenious invention and attempt to take over Metropolis.
The succinct answer to that question would have to be "whenever I have enough energy". Fortunately for the rest of populace, that won�t be anytime soon. Work has me up against the ropes lately, and is really taking its time in finishing me off, and if it gets tired, my bank account has already offered to do the honors. Meanwhile, my home computer has decided that it�s tired of being my bitch and doing everything I tell it to, so it�s staging its own little rebellion by refusing to run any of its programs at my behest.
Seriously, you guys; in Japan, they have toilet seats that will talk to you, and meanwhile I can�t even open a one-page Word document without my computer throwing a temper tantrum and slamming Windows shut in my face. The other fun fact currently rubbing itself in my face over this is that today is the anniversary of the Moon landing. I say, if man can walk on the Moon, man can also make me a computer that won�t go Y2K every time I turn it on.
In other news, I have decided to eschew my weekend coffees for the more health-conscious green tea. As it turns out, green tea has a whole pantload of anti-oxidants and other such health-inducing components, while coffee pretty much just gets you buzzed, yellows your teeth (after a while), and gives you burnt wood chips breath. Not that I�m knocking the java, or giving up on it at all (that�s crazy-talk), but I�m just cutting back a little. The fact that I go through several pots a week all by lonesome can�t really be good for my system, you know? So I am choosing to counterbalance it with green tea.
Regrettably I haven�t got a whole lot more to report. I�ve been watching the Olympic trials on and off, and have decided unequivocally that I do not care to compete in the 400 meter dash. Not that I don�t think I could run 400 meters, because I�m sure I could (although I would probably finish about fourteen minutes after everyone else -- I mean, I didn�t say I could run it well), but who has the energy to do that? And anyway, if I was going to work hard enough to get my body in that kind of shape, I�d probably want to apply it to something that doesn�t need to be completed in less than three minutes. I�m just saying.
Anyway, despite the fact that I probably won�t be climbing onto a podium in Athens (although I�m not counting anything out just yet), I think I�m okay with my limitations. And anyway, after I wheel out my Death Ray, I think I�ll be getting all the gold medals I want.
Today Metropolis, tomorrow the world!
Someone Got Here By Searching For: Heather�s revenge on Ray [I wish Heather would tell me what this was about.] I�m Watching: North Shore, and I�m sure that buried somewhere beneath all this apathy is a discerning viewer trying to claw his out. And: Home Movies, because I like to keep the discerning viewer appeased from time to time.