It�s day three of life here at Relationship-Based Reality Show, and I think I�m really getting the hang of what I�m doing. Of course, what I�m doing is largely watching television, a field in which I have lots of prior experience, but nonetheless.
Essentially, what I do is watch hours and hours of reality footage and take notes on it so the story department has an easier time finding what they need later on. The up side to this is that it�s really both very educational and very entertaining to see what doesn�t make it onto your average reality show, and just how much of the action is spontaneous. The down side is that watching hours and hours of footage also kind of distends the perspective center of your brain, and you kind of start questioning your sanity. Like, if you watch the same person long enough, you stop being able to figure out if you hate them or not. It�s like when you say a word so many times in a row that it stops sounding like a word. I don�t like it when my emotional compass spins like that.
I�ll tell you what I know I don�t like, which is the fact that there�s a Starbucks literally right next door to the office. I mean, it�s hard enough to fight the urge to splurge on lunch every day as it is, let alone that sweet, sweet nectar of life, espresso. So I force myself to eat my boring sandwiches and drink my home-brewed coffee (not as tasty as it sounds, but at least it�s not a Dannon Frusion), but Starbucks calls to me. Carla gave me a pre-paid Starbucks gift card as a going away present when I left Arts-Friendly, but given the price of your average latte, I�ve only got about two more drinks left on that thing, and damn it all, I need to use it for my weekend pastry bingeing too!
Why is coffee so expensive? It�s beans soaked in hot water, for crying out loud. And not even the beans! Just the water. It�s dirty water, is what it is, and they�re charging an arm and a leg for the ephemeral pleasure of sucking it down and burning it out of your system within about an hour. I don�t get the patronization of coffee shops or prostitutes. You pay soooo much money, and then it�s over in a flash, and all you�re left with is a funny smell. Not that I�ve ever visited a prostitute. I�m just conjecturing.
Another thing I�m learning from this job is that you really do need to watch yourself when cameras are around, because you really have no idea how many people are going to see it and hate you for no reason. Given my recent inability to differentiate my true emotions, I really have to just pick one and cleave to it, like when you�re at a restaurant and everything looks good so you just kind of close your eyes and point at the page and go with whatever your finger lands on. Or am I the only one who does that? That�s how I ended up dining on �Thank You For Not Smoking!� once. Okay, just kidding.
One of the hardest parts about what I do is that I have to type in all caps. So when I switch over to type in my journal, and I forget the caps lock is on, I start WRITING LIKE THIS, LIKE, OH MY GOSH I CAN�T BELIEVE IT!!! I�M SHOUTING BECAUSE I�M SO EXCITED!!! Clearly, I�m having mental problems now. I guess mental problems technically qualify as being a more difficult factor to contend with than remembering to take off the caps lock. Unless your mental problems leave you in a permanent state of euphoria, in which case�well, in which case who gives a damn about the caps lock, or anything else, because you�re euphoric! Euphoria is not my problem, however.
It�s really very interesting to watch hour after hour of attractive young singles talk about the quest for love. Doesn�t it kind of make you go �Hmm�� when you see these gorgeous people on TV who say they can�t get a date? It�s like, if they look like that and can�t land someone, clearly they must have a cellar full of dead bodies, or something. Maybe I�m being a little too negative about this, but it does make you think.
Anyway, I apologize for being so fragmented today. I�m hoping this is temporary, and that as I get more accustomed to what I�m doing, everything else will fall into place along with it. In the meantime, hug your local reality TV employee today!
Someone Got Here By Searching For: to finger your dickhole [WHAT???] I�m Watching: Veronica Mars, and I really kinda love it, people. And: Clue, because I totally love it with every fiber of my being.