Last night I had more weird dreams, although I have to say that these dreams were really, really nice. The first one was a Buffy dream, undoubtedly spurred on by the upcoming series finale (sniffle), which airs this Tuesday.
Okay, stop looking at me like that. Yes, sometimes I have TV dreams -- what of it? You�re just jealous because your dreams don�t have all-star casts and shit. By the way, and this is totally unrelated, but I�m listening to this radio station now, and they�re playing a song I really can�t fucking stand. It�s by Offspring, and I�ve liked Offspring in the past, but this reeking piece of shit song is really working my last nerve down to a nub. All they�re doing is screaming, you know? Oh shit. And now they�re going to play that obnoxious song by Evanescence with the pretentious chick wailing over the guy trying to sound hardcore. That song sucks my ass twice in a row.
Anyway, thanks for letting me get that off my chest. My point in all this was just that, periodically, I am lucky enough to find myself caught up in the fast-paced worlds of my favorite TV shows. And really, I�m not ashamed. I mean, where else am I going to make out with Michael Vartan? Last night, however, it was Buffy, and not Alias, that occupied my subconscious.
The unimportant details are as follows: we were all in this ginormous house (we being the Buffy gang, my family, and myself), and we were preparing to do battle against The First Evil. Buffy herself was not in attendance, but that�s okay, because you know who was? My TV girlfriend, Eliza Dushku. That�s right, ladies and gentlemen! And not only was she in my dream, but she was my actual girlfriend! Whee! We were sleeping together and everything! Best! Dream! Ever! We shared this room on the top floor of this massive, massive house, and it was awesome. Now that�s how you end a series.
I woke up from that dream (unfortunately), but only after I�d accomplished everything I wanted to (read: sex) and it had started getting really weird. Like, when I woke up? My parents and I were investigating an empty grain silo that had been converted into a hideout for a traitor who was selling secrets to other governments. What that has to do with me getting it on with Eliza I�ll never know. But anyway, I woke up, and then fell back asleep and had more weird dreams.
This time, however, I was getting it on with�someone else. Okay, this is embarrassing, so you have to promise not to laugh at me, or shake your head like you�re disappointed in me, or anything, okay? All right. It was Justin Timberlake. Okay, okay, I know -- teeny-bopper whatever. Just look at that picture, okay? Tell me you wouldn�t go for it, too. Anyway, I had those two lovely dreams, and then I woke up wanting to kill myself because I didn�t want to come in to work. I could be in bed right now, dreaming about�well, you know.
And work�s not treating me so well right now. There�s this cranky old woman here who evidently had an appointment to see Miranda. Only Miranda took the day off. And she didn�t tell anyone she had any appointments today. So I make up some bullshit excuse about how Miranda had to take a sick day and Dolly is going to help her instead, right? So this chick gets all up in my grille and starts getting all smarmy and superior, like, �Someone should have called me and told me so I didn�t waste my time driving all the way out here!� And I�m like, �Um, yeah, hence Dolly helping you.�
But it didn�t stop there. We won�t get into it, or anything, but she copped this major �tude about how she drove all the way out here, and since Miranda wasn�t in, she was going to leave. Meanwhile, I�m trying to drive it through her concrete skull that if she�d just shut the hell up and sit down, someone would be able to guarantee her trip wasn�t pointless after all. Finally, just when I was about to snap and throw her wrinkled ass into the harbor, Dolly came out and calmed her down.
Oh, and May Day and I saw The Matrix: Reloaded this past weekend, and damn was it good. It was the kind of movie you walk away from wanting to kick someone�s ass. Not because you�re pissed off or anything, but just because it looks like so much fun. I love that shit! Fist fights breaking out in the lobby, people trying to fly out to the parking lot, everyone wearing their sunglasses even when it�s dark�it�s awesome. I guess the Matrix truly has us.
